Fortunately, or unfortunately- depending on how you look at it, the simple minded whack-a-doos all seem to congregate at my local grocery store.
Behold, my rather random observations:
- Saturday 8:38am- I witnessed an over weight woman in shorty short sweat shorts and a tank top (no bra, of course) pushing her vastly over weight toddler in a shopping cart. The little boy, wearing only a diaper was eating buffalo wings and tossing the bones onto the floor in each aisle. Their path was easier to follow then Hanzel and Gretel's.
- A different Saturday 9:45am- Tall skinny woman in tight jeans, lingerie top and leather jacket (please notes it was 85 degrees and 100% humidity outside.) I'm pretty sure she was either a hooker or I was witnesses to a walk of shame grocery store pit stop. She only purchased a case of diet coke and two bags of chips and used a couon. Savy hooker, that one.
- A random Thursday morning 6:45am- An old man dressed in overalls purchasing three donuts, a container of coffee, two bags of beef jerky and a pound of bacon. He told me he ran out of essentials. I nearly died laughing.
- This past Saturday: A man about Mr. President's age wondering aimlessly around the store holding a shopping list. He asked me for help and I discovered he hadn't been in a grocery store in 20 years. His wife recently had surgery and couldn't do the shopping. I basically had him follow me around the store and walked him through his list. He was hysterical and obviously had no idea what he was doing.
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