The No Scale Summer

Back in mid June I drafted this lofty post regarding a No Scale Summer.

In theory- I was going to continue to my daily routine of healthy eating, working out on a regular schedule while forgoing the scale. Weight is jut a number, after all.

(please pause for a moment of reflection and think to yourself: Has the Jessica we have come to know and love recently suffered a brain injury)

In reality- I probably worked out 8 times since returning for Hawaii. While I ate "mostly" healthy I also had a great love affair with pimento cheese, wine, candy, and beer- high calorie Craft Beer to be specific.

Thus, I gained 8 pounds. As in just under half the weight I spent trying to get rid of all winter.


The best laid plans, right?



Oh Jessica...... when will you learn?
(probably never, let's face it, I'm a lost cause)

And so, I am here to hang my head in shame and tell you what I'm going to do about it.

1. Drink More Water and Less Beer

2. Get Back to Working Out (4:30am workouts aren't so terrible, right?)

3. Break Up with Pimento Cheese.




#3 is legit going to be the hardest.




Wish me luck, here I go again..........

Hawaii, Life and Summer Time

Hawaii-

It was wonderful. I could hardly believe we were in the United States. We had a wonderful time and enjoyed it so much. All my Hawaiian Dreams came true the minute we got to baggage claim and we were presented flower leis from our tour company. It was serious happiness. I think Mr. Berg was afraid I'm just hop a plane home since the life goal for the trip was achieved with in 15 minutes of arrival.

 However, it was a long journey to get there. Long, long journey. So I was fine to get on the bus and head to the resort. It was a fantastic 7 days full of sunshine, good time with new friends and so much food. We would definitely go again, but we 'd extend our trip by at least 3 days. We no sooner got adjusted to the time change and it was time to go home.


Life-

After a two week break, it was back to the workout grind this morning. I thought I would dread by early morning wake up all today. But instead, my alarm went off and off I went about my business. It felt good to be back in the swing of things. Unfortunately/fortunately, depending on who you ask, today was a two-a-dayer. Typically, I loathe a two-a-dayer, but for whatever reason, it was just what I needed to get back on the stick and back in action. Tomorrow, though, I'm probably going to be pretty dang sore. 

The boys are quickly moving into summer mode. We've been doing a lot of sprinkler running and Popsicle eating around here. Not to mention a lot of slathering of sunscreen, cleaning grass clippings off the mudroom floor and searching for lost water shoes.

Poor Mr. Berg just wanted to get to the golf course. I just want twenty minutes on the deck in the morning with a cup of coffee in silence. Not happening!

Summer Time-

I think we are about to hit the busiest summer on record for the Berg Family. Dates keep piling up and schedules get fuller and fuller. I've been hearing that this will just keep happening. I continue to keep ignoring this fact. How long can I do that?


The world keeps on spinning. So far, it's been a hell of a ride :)

A Weekend Won't Kill You

At least that's what I'm telling myself....


This weekend we had a bridal shower for one of my besties. This shower came complete with a mimosa bar, homemade pop tarts and enough pastries to feed an army. We also celebrated Baby Jacob's 2nd birthday with yummy things like potato salad, cookie dough dip and cake.

My body is none to pleased with my lack of self control over the past 48 hours. I can't say I blame it. If my stomach could come out of my body and give me the middle finger, I'm pretty positive it would happen.

Sorry!!

Today I'm reminding myself that one weekend of indiscretion probably isn't wise, but it's also not the end of the world. Despite making some pretty unhealthy decisions, I also made a lot of good ones. Lots of early bed times, lots of water, plenty of fruit and green vegetables.  I even got my workout in yesterday as planed.

Let's just keep digging for that silver lining why don't we?


Meanwhile, it's time to get back at it.

Life goes on and so do I.

Mission Accomplished

This morning at 5:05am I completed Jillian Michael's 90 Day Body Revolution.

There wasn't a lot of fanfare. Confetti did not fall from the sky, Jillian herself did not show up playing the trumpet. Rather, I sat on the floor, still sleepy, panting like an over heated dog, a little bit dumb founded. (Typical early morning workout stuff, if I'm being totally honest)

I am proud of myself. So, so proud of myself. But as I said to my husband this morning, this is only the beginning.

I took the first steps, I hit the first big mile stone. There is still plenty more to be done.


Right now I'm in a heated debate with myself on what I'm doing for the next two weeks.

Originally, I had thought I would do a 10 day cleanse set to stat on Monday. However, my Father-In-Law will be coming into town, we are preparing to leave for vacation and life is well, hectic to say the least.


Methinks I might be setting myself up for failure there. Honestly, I'm not interested in creating more stress when there's already plenty of it.

So, I'm most likely shelving the 10 day cleanse plan and sticking to my usual clean eating program.


There was no loss on the scale this morning, rather a gain, I'm brushing that off. This is what ovulation does to a girl and it's stupid! Eff it!

Next week will have better results, I'm sure.

Three More Days

Three more workouts and I'll have once again completed the Jillian Michael's Body Revolution Program.  As much and I consider myself crazy for saying this, it's been a lot of fun. It has also sucked and made me feel like the most out of shape person in American, but it's been fun. Challenging, but fun.

I have no plans to quit. A part of me says I'm going to do a full year of it and see what how I feel. Another part of me says that's insane. I've decided not to commit to a full year, right now. But I do want to do another full round and see where that puts me. I have found a good rhythm in early morning and lunch time workouts. I have found the I enjoy the early morning or mid day sweat sessions. I enjoy the me time, even if I'm swearing at Jillian the whole time.

And for vanity's sake. I'm pretty interested in seeing the results.
(Guys, my stomach is almost flat(ish). For a girl that's always had a butt-gut ((gut that looks like a butt)) this is huge! HUGE, I tell you.)


Plus- one BFF is getting married in August with another BFF not far behind her.

And Disney World, gotta take the big 5 year old to Disney World



Pretty exciting :)

Tapped Out

Last week was rough. A lot of little things got the best of me and by Thursday I was ready to collapse in a puddle of frustration, confusion and tears. I'm typically pretty good as managing my emotions, pushing stuff deep when I need to, processing things practically when I'm in a safe space. But last week, everything just got the best of me.

Thankfully, Friday, I was able to hit the reset button and focus on being home and quiet on a rainy Friday. It was just what I needed to gather myself and prepare to keep pressing forward.

This week will be just as difficult as the last, but I feel more prepared to handle it. I know what's ahead of me. I know how to handle it.

I'm proud of myself. I very easily could have gone to pieces last week. I could have jumped back into old habits, pushed off workouts and told (lied) to myself that I'd get back on the stick the next day. When in reality, a day would have turned into two or five or fifty.

Instead, I ate my meals, I scheduled in my workouts, I stuck my plan and I am all the better for it.

I can't complain, I can instead, rejoice in the fact that I survived it and made last week my bitch.


Bring in Monday, I got this!

On Your Day

Dear Grandma-

Today is your day, It's your birthday! I wish I knew your favorite color or if you liked birthday cake. I wish I knew what the sound of your voice sounded like and how you took your coffee...

I never knew you but I miss you just the same. There's is a connection between us that runs deep within my veins, in the sound of my heart beat, in the shadow of my dreams. I can't describe it or explain it. I just know. You are there.

I'm thinking of you today as I am every day.

All my love.

Your first born granddaughter.

On Kicking Asses and Taking Names

Last week's set back is in the rear view mirror. As I readied myself to step on the scale this morning I was filled with dread, ready for disappointment. Yet, a small voice deep in the recesses of my brain whispered "Stay Positive." That small voice was rewarded when I stood on the scale a found a 2.2 pound loss waiting for me.

Little by little wins the day. 


New goals and new challenges await me.  With a smile, I say, bring it on!

In Set Backs and Fresh Starts

My Friday weigh in was bad. I gained weight and it sucked.

I knew it was coming and I was prepared to see a high number on the scale. I let it sting for about 24 hours and then I put my big girl panties on a dealt with it.

I got busy and a little lazy. I also leaned into a tummy issue a little too much and well, I get what I get.

There's no blame game here, just a bad week.

This week is all about tightening the reins, returning to good habits and water, water, water.

I did it the damage, I can undo the damage!

That Wasn't So Bad, Was It?

Just popping in to document that I, Jessica Berg, did it. I did the hard workout this morning and I didn't die.

Did I want to die? Yes

Did I die? No

Thank you Jesus.

Know what would be nice? If I had some extra upper body strength lying around somewhere? I am really, really terrible at one leg push ups and downward dog push ups and Spiderman push ups..... and push ups in general.

I really should get it put on a T-Shirt. "I DON'T DO PUSH UPS"

Meanwhile, I still push on.

I lift the weights, I eat the good for you good and I drink the water.

I am on the health kick hamster wheel. 

Getting There

This week I crossed over the half way point of my love/hate relationship with Jillian Michael's Body Revolution. Although I am doing this workout program for the second time, there are a lot of things I must have mentally blocked out because I completely forgot about how much I hate week 7. Weeks 5 and 6 were hard and painful and made my arms beg for mercy. But at the same time they were fun and motivating and while I said a few choice works from time to time I never really minded them.

Week 7 began yesterday and just as I began the first interval, all the hate came flooding back. The first interval of week 7 has always been my nemesis. I just don't have that kind of upper body strength and it hurts so bad... in  a good way. There were several times I found myself laying on my floor asking myself why I can't be happy with just being flabby. The answer: because I'm a masochist.

This morning I popped out of bed like a piece of toast and was at it again for another round of 4:30am torture. The second workout of week 7 isn't nearly as terrible. It's still very hard for me, but more manageable.

Later this morning it hit me, I made it through both workouts. I now know what to expect for the next two weeks. It hurts, it sucks, it makes me want to cry, but I know I can do it because I did it before. It won't be as scary when I do them again on Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday etc.

I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere. The number on the scale continues to go down. I continue to track my meals, get in my exercise, write my next number on my wrist, I chug water, I chase my kids, I sleep hard at night. I feel better both mentally and physically.

This is hard but it feels good.


As the numbers tick down both on the scale and for my upcoming vacation, I feel happy. I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere. It's a good, good thing.

Met My Goal- Didn't Die

There's a point in one of my favorite Jillian Michael's videos where we're doing what's called a super set. It's basically a long set of moves that impact one area. It gets tougher and tougher before it's time to do a cardio set and start the process over again. Super sets are hard work but totally worth in. In this particular super set, an arm super set, right at the very end Jillian talk about how hard it is an then she asks "But are you going to die?" And I also answer out loud, No!. You know, because she can hear me.

I don't know why this moment in a work out video always hits me where it counts but it does. It's that extra kick in the pants, that extra "I got you" moment that drives to to push it just a little bit further and not die, because not dying is good. 

This past week it set in motion what I needed. The extra kick in the pants to get the job done. Sure it was hard, I had to really push to make good choice, but when all was said and done. My hard work paid off and it was worth it. I saw 148 on that scale and I was ecstatic.  That put into motion a weekend's worth of great choices and met goals.


So now, 146, is written on my wrist and by golly, I will get it!

Why I Can't Be Left Alone with Pork BBQ and Other Musings

Yesterday we had friends over for lunch after church. Since we had a busy Saturday and I was home with a sick child on Friday, I didn't have a ton of time to prepare a wholesome meal prior to early Sunday morning. Since crock pots require zero babysitting and my love of pork knows no limits, I whipped up some pork barbecue with macaroni and cheese, coleslaw and fresh fruit.

And then I ate it all.....


Okay, not true, but I had to really, really talk myself into portion control and making good choices. I had some last sandwich for lunch yesterday and bid my goodbyes. The kids had some left over for dinner. I froze the rest to give them another time and pitched the coleslaw before I could dive into face first.  It's the pretend southerner in me. I just really love me some barbecue.

BBQ Obsession aside, I am trying my very, very best to focus on healthy choices both with eating and exercise. Standing on the scale Friday and seeing a much lower number was some serious motivation. It carried me through the weekend. Even though I went out on a beer tour with my gals and their guys, I didn't over indulge and enjoyed myself just the same.

Yesterday I started incorporating an old Biggest Loser tactic back into my routine. Years ago, some of the contestants would write their next goal weight on the side on their wrists. I loved that idea as it was a constant reminder of the goal in front of me and sometime just the right kick in the pants to not have that doughnut whole or fill up the water glass on last time.

Right now, 148, is written on the inside of my left wrist, just about my watch band. While there's a piece of me that HATES the number, there's a much large piece of me that's ready to blow that out of the water next week.

Jillian and I are still seeing each other on the daily. This week is tough, 4:30am workouts all week long. I am 100% spent by the time 7:30pm rolls around but there is something really addicting about getting all your sweating done prior to the sun coming up. It's good me time, even if it does come at the crack of dawn. 

Some days it's hard to keep me the motivation, to carve out a piece of time for me, to feel like I'm anything but stuck. But I keep plowing out. There's no other choice, really. 

I'm Just Going to Whine Over Here for a Minute

This is an attitude adjustment in the form of a blog post. 

Why: I just started my "." for the second time in 13 days.  Why is this happening? I'm not really sure. Neither is my doctor for that matter.  However, since it's the first time something like this has ever happened, we are monitoring the situation and proceeding with the plan in place.

I am, just as any women in the situation would be, pretty pissed off. This is obviously not how I intended to spend my week. Extra bloat, fatigue, night sweats and pimples. FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

No to mention the bitchiness, and oh, I am bitchy..... so, so bitchy.

So here I am, trying not to implode on myself or explode on anyone else.  Not to mention, I stood on the scale this morning and wanted to faint. The extra bloat really, really didn't help the situation.

So, today I am doing my best to maintain status quo and reminding myself of all the incredible tools I have in my tool box. I cannot control what my body is doing, obviously, but I can control how I handle it.

I'm not happy with the number on the scale. But here's what I should be happy about:

I worked out 5 days this week, which included early morning wake up calls and a lot, a lot of squats.

Some of the moves I couldn't do well earlier in the week went much, much better later in the week.

I'm finding my strength and endurance has begun to improve since I first got started.

I feel better during the day, my self esteem is higher, I know I'm doing good things for myself even if my physical appearance hasn't changed much.

Next week I need to do a better job to focusing on my eating. I do a great job of meal planning and ensure good food it ready for me. Where I falter- snacking and kid food. I get home from work and picking the kids up and it's a mindless eating game until dinner. I'm sure, if I really tracked it, I will have eaten two dinners by the time I finish up dinner and clean up the kitchen. There in lies the problem.

So, next week, we start working on that situation. 

I'm trying to grant myself some perspective. This is not the end of the world. This is a minor, uncontrollable set back. I can deal with this, I just need to grant myself the grace in which to do so. 

So, About Hawaii

Two weeks ago today, my husband came home from work with matching leis for us. It's on! We are Maui bound in 86 days.


Coincidentally,  I had just been here talking about how I needed to get on the stick with my workout. Hours before he came home, I was in our basement setting out my weights, ensuring the DVD player worked and had set my workout schedule for the following week.

Awesome, right? I was ahead of the game by 2.5 hours. Before you roll your eyes, remember, I'm in Mom World. 2.5 hours is HUGE!


Fast forward to today. I completed the first two weeks of Jillian's Body Revolution. (And I'm up two pounds!)


FAN-TASTIC, right?


I keep trying to remind myself that a healthy lifestyle is more about the number on scale. Change takes time.

While I typically take pride in my millennial status. That whole need for instant gratification is really kicking me in the pants right now. I want change and I want it now!


Trust me, I know life doesn't work that way. But oh how I wish it would.


So for now, I continue to trust the process. There is no point in stressing about it right now.

Good things come to those who work for it.

Just Let This Happen

Hi!

Miss me?

I missed you.... like a lot.



I know, I know. I haven't been here a lot lately. I bored you guys with tales of losing weight (again). Then we decided we'd be all fancy and move across town. Cue epic amount of whining about the stupid sellers of our new house.

It's okay, you can totally roll your eyes. I do it all the time at myself. It's therapeutic.....

Anyway.

Here I am, sitting at my desk at work, eating my Greek chicken bowl and wondering how long this early spring Central PA is getting will last. I'm not banking on it lasting very long, but it's a nice thing to have. It also makes me wonder if I suffer from seasonal effective disorder? My mood has been greatly lifted since the warm weather began.

Plus, the warm weather has me all excited for Lilly dresses and pink and flip flops.  With that I must remind myself: If I'm going to wear a Lilly dress, I'm going to need nice legs. In order to have nice legs, I might have to go visit my friend Jillian.

yeah..... about that........


We've been very off in our on again off again relationship recently.

Homegirl is going to kick my butt! (Not that I don't deserve it or need it)


Since we moved into our new house, I've been struggling with finding balance. My job got busier, my kids got bigger and busier, our new house is bigger and needs EVERYTHING. My marriage is growing older and move comfortable. While nothing is wrong there, keeping a healthy marriage is work. Good work, but work nonetheless.

It's been hard to find time to sit down, let alone fit in a work out. With that, it's hard to work on me in general. 

Last month I participated in my annual January Advocare 24 Day Challenge. It was life affirming. Since then I have been more focused on eating right and have stuck with the MNS packets. Since the challenge ended I haven't lost any additional weight, but I'm noticing a lot of other positive changes- sleep better, way less bloated, energy increasing. 

So now there's no excuses, time to work out. 



(Also, there's a remote possibility I could get to go to Hawaii this summer.... very remote, but if I get to go, I need to look cute. Cute takes time)

Gone

Last week an old friend of mine past away. We hadn't been in touch in a number of years. I could probably count the number of times we've run into each other past high school graduation on one hand (and that's being generous).

However, I always knew he was out there based on mutual friend's Facebook posts and such. His picture would appear and I'd think to myself how much he looked the same or how time has been kind to him.  He was a consummate gentleman, flawless style, an old soul. He always seemed to be keeping a secret. As time went by and I watched him from afar it seemed to me that he always knew something about himself and he was afraid others might not appreciate or accept.

I never knew if my hypothesis was correct. Not that it mattered anyway. He business is and was certainly none of mine.

Nonetheless, I had the utmost respect for him.

His death came as a shock. I wasn't aware that he had been ill and there was no news of a sudden accident or tragic mishap. Instead, it appears that was deep eternal struggle and he succumbed to it.  The only notice: a few facebook posts and a short mention of his name and residence in the obituary section of our local news paper.


That is a tragedy all its own.  For someone once so full of life to be gone with a lack of tangible artifacts.

I'm sure behind the scenes for those closest to him there just too much going on. Too much sadness, too much shock, too much of just everything.


I'll miss him.