Staying in the Moment

Lately, it has been difficult to keep myself in the moment. There is so much to worry about, so much to anticipate, so much to consider. Some of it is so stupid to even waste time worrying about, but the rest of it..... it's heavy. Sometimes the simple stuff gets blended into the more complex stuff, sometimes the more complex stuff only requires an easy answer. Worst yet, the snow ball effect. One simple question creates a total shit storm of crazy.

For example: It's time to fill out my flexible spending form for next year. How much money should I withhold? Well, are we getting pregnant in 2014? Can we afford a baby? What happens if there are complications again? How much would that cost? What if their aren't complications? What if.... And then the shit storm begins. Instead of worrying about taking $25 or $30 out of my check each month, I'm concerned about pregnancy complications, what month this phantom baby will be due and what kind of class cupcakes I'll be baking someday. Because that really matters, doesn't it?

I'm trying desperately not to let the weight of all the big stuff crush down on me. I'm just trying to focus on the here and now. But that storm I talked about before? It's a blowing and it has the power to change everything and nothing, all at the same time. And then what?

So like I said, today I'm struggling with staying in the moment and pushing aside the "what ifs?"


Anyone else?

Every Frigging Time

This morning I woke up feeling on top of my game. I was up just before my alarm. I had slept well through the night. My shoulder and neck felt pretty good. Then I got out of bed....

Since I get up at at 4:30 in the freaking morning, I try my best to be ninja quiet in an effort not to wake up my light sleeper boys.

With in 2 minutes of opening my eyes, I managed to knock my phone off the nightstand, taking down my water bottle with it. As I went to reach for my workout shorts, headband and socks, I realized my socks were missing. I had to open my dresser for another pair, in the process stubbing my toe and tripping over a random toy.

Thankfully, I made it down the steps without issue and got in a great workout. I figured my bad luck was behind me until I came back up stairs to fill up my water cup with ice and water. As the ice was falling in my cup, the cat startled me, causing me to drop my cup filled with ice cups all over our tile floor. Yeah, that was quiet.... and my cup shattered on top of all that.

Thankfully, everyone sleep through that fiasco.


All was well until I decided to break out my curling iron. Since I'm rocking some third day hair, I needed something to spice it up. In the process I burnt my left middle finger and sprayed what little hair spray I had left in my eye.


All of that, before 6:15am.

If you need me today, I'll be bubble wrapping myself to my desk chair.

There's Macaroni and Cheese on my Sweater

In my defense, I wore this sweater yesterday. I made mac and cheese for Ryan, the rest is history.

I woke up this morning and started my new workout rotation with a super old school Firm Video. I broke out the Fanny Lifter box and everything. I forgot how much slower the pacing is in the older videos. I also forgot how much they kick my ass. Wow, I was not ready for that. But I powered through and I'm feeling good about it. It's probably been over two years since I did one those particular videos... they were a main stay for me in college. It's crazy how much of the choreography I remembered and how many times I screwed up the moves in all the same places.

Once again, weekend eating is my demise. I go on the see-food diet. If I know about it, I eat it. It's not good, not good at all. I'm always trying to think of ways to combat it. Mainly, I just need to get my butt out of the house and not surround myself with food. However, I will say, I did better this weekend, but I wasn't perfect.


This morning I took a few minutes out of my morning to menu plan for November... which starts on Friday if you haven't heard. WTF!

I also moved up my Advocare 10 Day Cleanse, I'll be starting on the 11th. I'm pumped. But we'll talk more about that later.

So, what's on tap for this week?

Workout Schedule:

Monday: Total Sculpt Plus Abs (I'm not a huge fan of the abs section of this video, just so you know)

Tuesday: Cardio Party (sounds dumb, but I like it)

Wednesday:  Complete Aerobic and Weight Training (Gosh these names are so dumb!)

Thursday: Total 45

Friday: Maximum Cardio Burn

These video names are redic. Going forward I'm probably going to just rename them as "the cardio one" or "the one with weights and aerobics." Does that work for you? It works for me.

One the Menu:

Lunches: Vegetable soup with Rye Bread

Dinners: Roast Chicken and Root Vegetables, Turkey Chili

Snacks: Whole Fruit with Almonds or a Cheese Stick 


And on Thursday I'm eating all of our Trick or Treat Candy and you can't do anything about it :) 

Major Rarity

Well lookie here, a Friday post.... that never happens :)

Fair Warning- This post will be full of mindless dribble. I just need to get my thoughts together.

I'm in the office this morning trying to get a few things done before I go home to my snot faced little man. Once again, the crud has infested our house. Ryan and Mr. Berg started around the same time. I am the lucky non-cold winner and I'm happy to remain so.


It would figure Ryan gets a cold today. We had big plans for a major shopping trip to the "good" grocery store an hour away today. Oh well. We also have plans to go to the local Halloween parade on Sunday and eat chili, corn bread and cupcakes with my family. While we might have to modify the day, we will still be attending , come hell or high water


In an attempt to make lemonade from lemons, I'll utilize my baby free morning with lots of work and a trip to the not to great grocery store BY MY SELF. Ahh, I might actually stick to my list and not leave with a headache. That never happens... now if I could just find my coupons.


Since my adjustments on Wednesday night, I can actually turn my neck to the right 15 degrees, which is a huge change from the 5 degrees I could turn it on Tuesday. (small victories) Maybe I'll be able to turn it the whole way by Thanksgiving? Also, the tension and pain in my shoulder, elbow and arm have definitely gone down. It's by no means better but it isn't so aggravating.


I'm really, really looking forward to Monday. I miss my workouts. Since August I've been rotating around my Firm Express DVDs and supplementing with other Firm DVDs.  As of this moment, I'm sort of over the Firm Express. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the workouts. Don't get me wrong, I've just been doing them a lot and it's time for a break.

 There is this huge OCD driven part of me that feels I should close out the month with the Express DVDs since I stopped in the middle of a rotation. There is another part of me that thinks I should cut and run.

I might just do that... cut and run.

As of Monday, I have four full  weeks of workouts until our Thanksgiving Trip to Boston. I'm going to breakout some old school Firm Videos and then again, supplement with my usual favorites. That should hopefully keep things interesting and keep me motivated.

In other news. I am stuck at the same weight. 142. Doesn't matter what I do, doesn't matter how I eat, doesn't matter if do an epic weight loss dance in my birthday suit in front of the scale with the blinds up and the neighbors watching (come on, like you've never done it). I'm still at 142.

Since I'm not sure what I can do to combat that other then keep doing what I do, I'm not going to stress. I'm going to stick with good habits, good choices and a good attitude. And if all else fails, the Cleanse I'm doing starting the 15th will hopefully kick my body into weight loss mode.

Who does a cleanse right before Thanksgiving? This girl, obviously.

Alright, that was a whole bunch of junk wasn't it? Happy Friday y'all.

What the Doctor Found...

Just as we thought, early stages of Cervical Spinal Stenosis. He wouldn't go as far as officially stamp my file "stenosis" but my vertebrae are showing the signs of heading in that direction. And, as he put it, it's genetic, the odds weren't exactly in my favor.


So, what does this mean?

Right now my there is a specific area in my neck that ain't happy. It's starting to compress and aggravate the surrounding tissue, which is causing all of the tension and pain in my left arm, shoulder, elbow and hand.  My neck in that area is also curving the wrong way, thanks to compression. He will probably never be able to get my neck to curve properly again, but he feels confident he can get it at least back to neutral, which will provide a lot of relief.  I will also need to start decompression therapy and manipulation therapy next week.

All in all, I will probably need twice a week therapy for 4 weeks, after that I will be given a device to use for at home decompression therapy.

The bad news: This is a chronic condition that I will battle for the rest of my life.

The good news: No restrictions. I can still workout as I want to, I can still lift weights, drag my child around, all the good stuff. I just need to be a little extra mindful of my body and how it feels and give myself a break from time to time if I need it.

I had my first round of manipulation therapy last night. I left feeling a ton better. This morning I woke up refreshed after having my first real good night of sleep in a long time. I skipped my workout today and will until Monday. We are going to give my neck and muscles a chance to relax for a little bit. Come Monday, I'll be back at it. I also went from having the neck mobility of an 80 year old man to a 75 year old man. Imagine that!


So, let's all do an athritic happy dance for increased movement and less pain.

Also, I'm totally rocking my pink skinny jeans at work today. Tonight, I get to see my old lover, Lyle Lovett. He's bringing his friend, John Hiatt, along. That's cool, I'm bringing my dad :)


Happy Thursday People :)

What the Doctor Said.....

First off, I don't have answers yet. But what I can say is whatever is going on with me isn't normal.

According to my Chiropractor, I have the mobility of an 80 year old man when it comes to my head, neck and shoulders. My symptoms are not normal and there is obviously something very wrong, but what? We aren't sure.


He took x-rays today. This evening and tomorrow he will go over my x-rays, his findings from my mobility and orthopedic exams and the answers to my health survey. Using that information he'll come up with a diagnosis or order additional tests such as ultrasounds or an MRI. The words he left me with were "something in there isn't right."


My biggest worry, spinal stenosis. I think it's his worry too, but he didn't say it.
It's hereditary, my mom has cervical stenosis (neck), her father has stenosis of the lower back.



And so.... for now, I will remain an 80 year old man through my neck and shoulders and tomorrow I will live to fight another day.

The Neighbors....

So, as I discussed previously, we got new neighbors. They've been official residents of our fair street for 2 months now.

They are complete disasters.

I so wish I was kidding.....

First, they moved in over night. Denying me the opportunity to stalk them from the bathroom window.

Then, they weren't home when I tried to introduce us. Never mind the fact that I knowingly went over only when I knew they weren't home. I needed to prove a point to Mr. Berg.

Add to that, I have only seen them interact with each other twice and both times he was screaming "you sorry, B word" while he got into his car and she hung her head out the front screaming "Eff you." Seriously, such classiness should only be reserved for holidays and picnics.


The final straw however is the husband.
He smokes.
He smokes on his deck.
He smokes on this deck in his underwear in plain view of my kitchen window.

Don't even get me started of what I can see when I'm outside with Ryan.


Mr. Neighbor needs to buy himself some pants. NOW

Typically if I'm outside and he's also outside, he'll go inside as soon as he sees us. However, he probably can't tell I can see him from my kitchen.


Then came yesterday.

I finally broke down (or didn't have a choice, she was right there staring at me) and introduced myself to Mrs. Neighbor.

We made small talk. I causally mentioned I see her husband out on the deck every day.

The look on her face said it all....


Guess who was wearing pajama bottoms this morning while smoking on his deck.


You're Welcome, Neighborhood.

Hmmm.....

This morning I swung through the Dunkin' Drive-Thru to pick up an extra large pumpkin coffee, because that's just how I role on Mondays. Unfortunately, I given a plain coffee.... blech! I am not a plain coffee drinker. How does a extra large pumpkin coffee, with 2 splendas and skim milk equate to an extra large plain Jane coffee, I will never know. But it's gross.

I was ready to let it ruin my day when I remembered that a screwed up coffee order is pretty small potatoes compared to many of the world's problems. That and I have my left arm to worry about.....

Off and on now for.... let's just say awhile.... I've been experiencing discomfort, pain and the occasional numbness in my left arm. Typically it is concentrated to my elbow but lately it's been my shoulder, arm and wrist as well. I even had to quit my workout 10 minutes early this morning that's how bad it's gotten. Even with Advil, I can feel that pain radiating down my shoulder, through my elbow and into my finger as I type. It is miserable.

I have an appointment with the chiropractor tomorrow to see what can be done about it. Based on my advance medical (webmd) degree, I'm 90% sure it's a nerve based issue. We will see.

Regardless, it really, really, really hurts.



And now, on to a regularly scheduled Monday things.


Workout Rotation:

Monday: Firm Express Cardio Sculpt Rotations 2 &3. I had to quit 10 minutes early this morning because I was just so miserable. I'm not sure if it's the push ups or the weights.
So, I'll be taking it a little easier the rest of the week.

Tuesday: Firm Express Cardio Rotations 2& 3 *

Wednesday: Sculpt Rotations 2 &3*

Thursday: Dance Fusion- Want a good laugh, come watch me attempt this shit. White-girl does not have moves.

Friday: Ultimate Fat Burning Workout *

*heavily modified until I can figure out what is going on with my arm.

Menu:

Lunches: Veggie Chilli and Whole Wheat Toast

Dinner: Veggie Soup with Tortellini, Cider Glazed Pork Chops with Brussel Sprouts and Butternut Squash. 

Snacks: Greek Yogurt with Mixed Berries, Pears with Almonds or Cheese Stick

Meanwhile, if you have a left arm I could borrow, send it my way. 

The Class BIter

Ryan, Ryan, Ryan..... what is your Mama gonna do with you......


Ryan is at a small, in home daycare.. and by small, I mean it. Really small. There are two other children. A little boy his age and a little girl who is three. Plus, Miss Clara's daughter who is 7 months. With the except of the baby, Ryan has sunk his teeth into everyone else. Great....

Every Friday Miss Clara emails me with a weekly report that run down what was for lunch, the weekly activities, etc. As the end of last week's email she added the following:

I don't want you to be concerned but Ryan has started biting everyone. He typically only bites clothing and doesn't do it out of retaliation or spite, he just does it. I am not concerned, it is very much an age thing. Here is what I've been doing to teach him to stop......

Color me embarrassed! He might look sweet and innocent, but he's the kid that bites!


Great... just great....


If you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a child sized muzzle..... and baby dentures. He bites when he's teething. I'll nib that shit in the bud!


In all honestly, yes, it's totally normal and a rite of passage for most kids. He does it to Mr. Berg and I too and truly when his mouth is bothering him. Poor kid, it must be so frustrating to be in such pain. We are doing all the "suggested methods" for combating it and teaching him not to. I know it will sink in eventually, just not right away.


Advice?

Oh and if you're kid never bit anyone, I don't want to hear from you. I bet your kid picked their nose instead :)  Kidding, of course.

Road Trip

Yesterday I had the pleasure of riding two hours north with my brother to attend a career fair at his alma-mater.  In typical big sister fashion, I told him we could take my truck and then I made him drive, pump my gas and stop three times so I could pee. I also tried pumping for information about his girlfriend, to which he he didn't give me anything! He did however buy my coffee and we split a pack of Skittles on the way home.

He's an awesome little brother. Despite the fact that everyone thinks he's older because he appears to be more mature and has his shit together. While it's true he has his shit together, he's also the reason why we are ALWAYS late and he is definitely not more mature. Neither of us are very mature, seeing aswe spent most of the time behind our booth at the career fair making fun of everyone that walked by.  We also packed up an hour early and hit the local bar.

The sad thing about hanging out with my brother is this, we rarely do it. Our first hours together are always a little quiet and a little awkward, but then the best times come as we always find our stride and have a total blast. I always miss him when he gone. 

We shared a basket for fries and ate our wings while drinking a beer. I listened to him reminisce of his college days and tell stories about some of the alumni I met that he knew from days past.

Sure, I consumed exactly 3,000 more calories then I should have yesterday, but I got to spend the day with my brother. So, so worth it.

Call Dr. Drew.... Call Dr. Phil

I need an intervention.....

Hello my name is Jessica and when it comes to food with zero nutritional value, I can't stop shoveling it in my mouth. I also eat off my son's plate. I also graze from 5pm to bedtime. I eat when I'm full. I ate a giant apple dumpling 30 minutes before bedtime last night just because I could.


 I need to stop. NOW.


My morning workouts are for nothing thanks to my diet. I get up every morning, sweat my ass off and then ruin all my hard work by eating, non stop. That is just fantastic. Gold star for Fatty McFatterson.


(insert side eye at my self here)

I haven't gained any weight... yet. But it's only a matter of time and honestly, I don't have time for that.

So.... what are we going to do about that?

Well for starters, I need to determine why I keep doing this to myself.

The answer: Two Fold- Poor Planning and High Stress.

It's been stressful around these parts lately and guess what.... it's quickly becoming the new normal. Girlfriend better buck up! Kidding aside, the stress leads to poor planning, the poor planning leads to me being hungry. Instead of making good choices, I make really crappy ones. The crappy choices make me feel well, crappy and the cycle goes on and on.

There is not excuse for this. I let it happen and now it's time to get back on it.

Welcome to Kicking My Own Ass Week.... (which should be extra fun since Mr. Berg has after work commitments every night through the weekend).

YAY!!!


Here we go:

Workouts:
This morning I did my FE CS 4 & Pump It Up & Abs
Tuesday: FE C &S
Wednesday: Jump, Pump and Jab
Thursday: Cardio Overdrive
Friday: 500 Calorie Workout

Breakfast: Always a Green Monster Smoothie because I hate breakfast food.
Lunches: M,W,Thr- Leftover Potato Leek Soup with two small slices of Multi-Gran Bread
Tues- I'm at a Career Fair so I'll eat whatever they give me
Friday- Probably a Garden Burger?

Dinner: Every night this week I'm eating broccoli macaroni &cheese. It's a skinny taste recipe so it's not terribly bad.

With Mr. Berg going gone, it makes no sense to try to juggle cooking and toddler wrangling.

Snacks: Pears/Apples with String Cheese or Almonds or Greek Yogurt with Unsweetened Apple Sauce or Berries.

Hopefully this week will get me back on track. My plan for this weekend is to make some really awesome soups with all of our CSA veggies we are getting this week. Man I love a good soup!


Happy Monday!!

Recently....

Because crazy grows on trees around here.....


While outside my house, following Ryan as he walks up and down the sidewalk like a mini Frankenstein...

Neighbor: Hi, how are you guys?

Me: Oh, we're doing great. We're enjoying this nice weather while it lasts.

Neighbor: (picks up Ryan as he walks over to here) Wow, he really looks like your husband!

Me: I know, everyone tells me that.

Neighbor: Well, (handing Ryan back to me) better luck next time, right?

Me: Huh?



While Picking Up my CSA Share yesterday....

CSA Lady: Everyone try the cheese samples we put out. We are thinking of adding this to our CSA as an add on next year.

(My inner fat girl rejoices as I make way to the cheese... LOVE CHEESE)

Old Bitty with Ugly Shoes: (blocking all access free cheese) Oh, this cheddar is terrible... just terrible.

Me: (reaches for sample, gets denied as Old Gossip goes for another sample)

Old Bitty: Oh my gosh, why would you put out Swiss... no one likes Swiss (as she crams 30 samples into her mouth)

Me: Oh, I like swiss, do you mind if I get a sample?

Old Bitty: You won't like it it's terrible.

CSA Lady: Really, it's not good? It was such a hit at the local vendor show we attended last month.

Me: I haven't tried any yet, but I'm sure it's good. I've heard good things about the vendor.

Old Bitty: Well, if you like cheese you might like it. I'm not a fan of chese.

Me: (then why the fuck are you hogging up all the cheese?) Oh well, not everyone likes the same things.

Old Bitty: (hands now empty tray back to CSA Lady) No one is going to like this.

Me: (head explodes as I leave with a box full of veggies and a empty belly. Meanwhile, my inner fat girl is throwing a huge temper tantrum)

Personal Day

For the past couple of months I've been dealing with some heavy things. Things I can't talk about here. It's not because I don't want to or there's a big secret that needs to be held, it's just not my story to tell. While I am feeling the weight and sadness from all of it, it doesn't directly involve me. But none the less, I feel it, think about it, worry about it, pray about it, fret over it and carry it with me everyday. I can feel the wind beginning to blow differently lately, I know big things are happening. I just don't know if they will be good or bad. We just don't know.

So between all of that, an unexpected amount of stress at work and the crazy that is two working spouses and busy toddler I haven't felt much like myself lately. I lay my head down at night and I feel like I'm still moving. It's always go, go, go. There's always one more thing on the to-do list, one more problem to solve, one more thing that needs my attention. I have literally felt like I could be crushed by the weight of it all at any moment.  It's not a good thing and it's not how I enjoy living my life. 

On Sunday night I knew something had to give and I vowed to somehow, someway find a way to carve out some personal time for myself this week. A few hours to just do what I wanted to do. That moment came yesterday.

I went to work yesterday morning with the following plan. Get shit done (like always), attend a meeting with a total jackass, go to an HR Conference (late- thanks jackass), pick up Ryan, go home.

Instead- my meeting ran later and was more stressful then anticipated. So, I made the snap judgement to just go home and I did.

For the first time in a very long time, I walked into a quiet house. I changed into my warm, fuzzy track suit and I made myself some lunch. I watched the Food Network, chewing my lunch slowly and thought about how I wanted to spend the afternoon, my afternoon.

Knowing I had three glorious hours to myself, I popped open a Diet Pepsi and set to work switching out my closet from spring/summer to fall/winter. I hung up new hooks to organize the belts and hats. I filled up two garbage bags with stuff to donate and took them straight to my truck to drop off. I folded and tried on and piled hangers to my heart's content.

When all was said and done I had a beautifully organized closet and 90 minutes to spare. So I sat on the sofa, watched Halloween Wars and ate a cheese stick. It was simple, it was quiet and I could actually feel myself relaxing. 

Later I picked up Ryan, dropped off my donation bags and headed home feeling a little less stressed and a lot more like myself. Was it a cure? No. Will I never feel as I had felt before? Probably not.  But it took the edge off and that's all I can really ask for.

Hard times are ahead. I can't control that. But I can control how I care for myself, how I handle the situation and for that day, I think I did okay.

Meanwhile,  if you're the praying type, send up few prayers for the extended Berg family, okay?

Every Girl's Dream

My day started out normally enough. My alarm went off at 4:30am, I was working out by 4:40 after having a conversation with my 4 legged, furry faced trainer. I was back upstairs filling up my water cup and feeding my trainer by 5:25. Totally normal by every stretch of the imagination.

I started running my schedule and to-do list through my head as I made my way upstairs, stripping off layers of sweaty clothes as I went. I made the bed, chatted with my husband and was getting ready for a shower went Mr. Berg said "Oh, by the way, the shower drain is running really slow."

This is typically not a big deal. We have the world's worst shower drain so I typically have to take it apart and clean it out (ack!) once a season. Yes, cleaning out the drain is my problem. In fact, all plumbing issues in our household are my problem. This weekend I installed a new garbage disposal after I broke the old, super crappy, cheap on.

Why? She who holds the plumbing license does the plumbing repairs in our house. (Things you didn't know about me, right?)

Sidenote: Having a plumbing license only means you're really good at reading books, retaining information and applying it to a multiple choice exam. It does not mean you are actually good at the trade of plumbing....


Anyway....

I go to turn on the shower and find 4 inches of standing water in our tub. NASTY!

Thanks Husband, thanks a lot. The drain is not running slow, the drain is effing clogged!

So, began the adventure of locating the a screw driver, toilet plunger and old towels all while wearing my pink bathrobe, shower cap perched on my head.

Sexy, party of one!

I am sure it is every girl's dream come true to fix a clogged shower drain at 5:30 in the morning while their husband stand at the bathroom sink, shaving his face and going about his day like everything is just peachy.

That's how my day started. Anyone want to take a stab at how the rest of my day is going to go?

Just Keep Swimming

Oh hey, y'all are still here?

I know, I know, I came, I talked about goals and then I straight up fell off the face of the earth.

You aren't shocked? Neither am I.


 Last week ended up being one of those weeks where everything just kept getting worse. By Wednesday afternoon I wanted to throw in the towel and cry.... then Wednesday evening I was blindsided in a board meeting where I promptly lost my shit in a very professional, yet firm manner. Enough was enough, I was over it. I'm still receiving apologies about what was done and as terrible as it is to admit this, I am oddly satisfied by it. 

Between employee illnesses, a sudden death of a friend's mother, running from my house to daycare, daycare to work, work to meetings, meetings to work, work to daycare... it just never freaking ended. I couldn't wait for the weekend to come until we received word of the funeral arrangements for our friend's mother. Then suddenly I was single mom-ing it for the weekend and Mr. Berg was driving up and down the east coast at all hours of the day and night.

So there's last week in a nutshell. I did get in 5 workouts and I was eating great until the stupid weekend came along, STORY OF MY LIFE.


So, this week:

Today: I did not workout this morning. I got 4 hours of sleep, between Ryan randomly waking up last night and Mr. Berg's inability to be quiet EVER.

Tomorrow: Firm Express Cardio Sculpt DVD #4
                    Firm Express 10 Minute Time Crunch Video (I totally made that name up)
                    Firm Express 10 Minute Abs (again, making up names)

Wednesday: Firm Express Cardio and Sculpt

Thursday: Firm Get Chisel'd 

Friday: (get my ass out of bed at 4:30 come hell or high water) Firm Boot Camp


I will probably only get 4 workouts in this week, which means I'll be down from my usual 5. However, my goal is 4-5 workouts a week so I'm not going to sweat it too much. But I did pick out some videos that have a extra punch to them to make up for today.

(Side note: I am missing my exercise energy today that I usually have from an early morning workout. Sad)


Meals:
Lunches- Turkey Meatsauce over Spaghetti Squash, Subway or Garden Burgers depending on my day.

Dinner: Butternut Squash and Sausage Pasta, Pork Chops/Chicken something... I'm super creative.


 Hopefully this week will be a kind one. I don't have the energy or tolerance for a repeat of last week.

Everyone's Talking About Goals

I feel like I'm back in 5th grade and I'm the only kid that didn't complete their math homework assignment. It's October already, I have to set goals again? But.... but.....

Ummm..... how about my goal for this month is survive October? Yup, sounds good to me.

Ha! Even I know better then that. Planing to survive a month is not a goal, it's just assumed.


I've been reading a lot of other blogger's goals lately, so many of them are really good. For example:

- Several  are resolving to give up caffeine for 31 days...... To which I say no, just no.

-Two of my favorites are giving up alcohol for 31 days..... again no, no, no

- My favorite Muffin is doing Chugtober where she's going to drink a gallon of water every day. I got really pumped up for that one until Mr. Berg pointed out I already do that.....

Basically, I'm finding myself at a loss. Right now I'm find my groove with 4:30am workouts, pre-planning the shit out of everything and juggling owning a business, being a mom & a wife and volunteering where I can. I forever feel like I have 10 balls up in the air and 5 plates spinning. But then again, so is every other mother out there. Work at home, work out of the home, stay at home or never home, each mom feels the exact same way I do, all the damn time.


 So for this month, I plan to live a little more purposefully. I plan to look at my I-Phone a little less and look at my son a little more. I plan to think a little more about what goes into my mouth and snack off my son's tray a little less. It won't be perfect, it won't be easy and there will be days where I fail. But just like every other mom knows, that's life.