A phone converstation with My Momma:
JB- Mom, do you think Hurrican Earl will screw up your plans to go to the beach house?
MM- JBerg, Earl isn't supposed to hit Pennsylvania. (said in the most serious of tones)
JB- Mom, your beach house is in Delaware. I'm pretty sure Earl is going to go by
MM- Oh.... I hadn't thought of that.
A converstation with Mr. President:
JB- I'm so not looking forward to being stuck in the airport with Mr. Berg tomorrow
MP- Why will you be stuck in the airport?
JB- We're flying to South Caroline for a wedding. The hurricane will probably screw everything up.
MP- Why, the hurricane won't hit the north until tomorrow afternoon?
JB- We are flying SOUTH in the morning.
MP- I don't see your point
JB- We are flying south as the hurricane is coming north. Eventurally we'll meet up.
MP- You know, you're probably right.
Dear Lord in heaven.... who raised who?
Showing posts with label My Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Dad. Show all posts
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Like Father Like Daughter
A recent converstations with my Dad:
Mr. President: How's your thumb?
J-Berg: It's healing. However, if I squeeze it blood comes out the spot where it hasn't sealed up yet
MP: Oh yeah, let me look at it
{squeezes thumb, blood comes out}
MP: Yeah, you probbably shouldn't do that
JB: I figured as much
Mr. President: How's your thumb?
J-Berg: It's healing. However, if I squeeze it blood comes out the spot where it hasn't sealed up yet
MP: Oh yeah, let me look at it
{squeezes thumb, blood comes out}
MP: Yeah, you probbably shouldn't do that
JB: I figured as much
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Bad Habit or The Naked Laundry Dash....
Before I lived with Mr. Berg, I lived with Mr. President and My Momma. It was at their house that I first developed a very, very bad habit.
Being a custom home builder, Mr. President is constantly evolving the house he shares with My Momma. If they don't like something they change it, if they'd rather something was some where else, they move it. Thus, some where in the many renovations their laundry room was moved from the first floor mud room to the 2nd floor, just steps away from my room.
See where this is going....
While living with the rents, I always did my own laundry. I'd often start my laundry after getting home from work or the gym. Thus, while throwing in my laundry, I would often strip down, throw in my sweaty gym clothes and make the mad naked dash to my room.
It should also be noted... all of the bedrooms at the rents house are on one end of the house, with the exception of my room.... convienentialy located on the other end of the house, next to the laundry room.
I've continued my naked laundry doing ways since moving into our house on the hill with Mr. Berg. Unfortunately, my laundry set up isn't as sweet. Our laundry closet (yeah, boooo) is located on the first floor, within direct lines of visions from the powder room window and the windows next to the front door.
Again..... booooo.
So, last night after working out and preparing dinner I found myself once again doing laundry. And of course, the laundry strip down was performed. As I was making the naked dash up the steps to our bedroom I hear car stores slamming in the driveway.
Had I been minutes, even seconds later then I was Mr. President and My Momma would have been in for one heck of a show. Their first born daugther, their pride and job, their responsible child, doing laundry in the nude....
Yep, there's a entry for the baby book ladies and gentlemen.
Being a custom home builder, Mr. President is constantly evolving the house he shares with My Momma. If they don't like something they change it, if they'd rather something was some where else, they move it. Thus, some where in the many renovations their laundry room was moved from the first floor mud room to the 2nd floor, just steps away from my room.
See where this is going....
While living with the rents, I always did my own laundry. I'd often start my laundry after getting home from work or the gym. Thus, while throwing in my laundry, I would often strip down, throw in my sweaty gym clothes and make the mad naked dash to my room.
It should also be noted... all of the bedrooms at the rents house are on one end of the house, with the exception of my room.... convienentialy located on the other end of the house, next to the laundry room.
I've continued my naked laundry doing ways since moving into our house on the hill with Mr. Berg. Unfortunately, my laundry set up isn't as sweet. Our laundry closet (yeah, boooo) is located on the first floor, within direct lines of visions from the powder room window and the windows next to the front door.
Again..... booooo.
So, last night after working out and preparing dinner I found myself once again doing laundry. And of course, the laundry strip down was performed. As I was making the naked dash up the steps to our bedroom I hear car stores slamming in the driveway.
Had I been minutes, even seconds later then I was Mr. President and My Momma would have been in for one heck of a show. Their first born daugther, their pride and job, their responsible child, doing laundry in the nude....
Yep, there's a entry for the baby book ladies and gentlemen.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Tales of an HR Expert.... or something like that
My Dad asked me to update his resume today. Being the sweet, loveable, (anal) HR professional of a daughter that I am, I agreed.
"How hard could it be?" I thought
Then he handed be his current resume, from 1988. Our purchasing agent, who was his secratary at the time had typed it for him on her typewritter. It lists my Dad's birthday, my mom and her birthday and my brother and I with our respective ages at the time.
Clearly I thought wrong, now didn't I?
Seeing as in 1988 I was in kindergarten and didn't give two craps about resumes, I have no idea if this was proper procedure or not..... I'm assuming it was the aquanet and the hightop Reeboks that caused people to do such things.
After blowing the dust of his resume and looking over his list of accomplishments for the past 22 years my creative HR skills kicked into gear. I typed up a new resume. Complete with accomplishments, licenses held, degrees, occupations, responsibilties, etc. etc.
If that resume came across an HR Director's desk, I feel confident they would kiss me.
(yes, I really think a lot of myself don't I?.... blame my mother, she told me that some people didn't like me in high school because they were just jealous of my good looks and my smarts.... really people, she still tells me that. In fact, just yesterday, I told her about an old lady that gave me the side eye in the grocery store and my mom said "Honey, she's just jealous because your boobs aren't at your knees" According to my mother, that fact that typically I'm just a bitch has nothing to do with why people don't like me.)
Anyway....
I showed my latest creation to my Dad, in the same fashion I would have showed him a coloring book page as a kingergartener.
His response? Where's my birthdate? Why didn't you put anything down about Mommy? (yes, when asking LB or I about my Mom he calls her Mommy. I know, it melts my heart too)
"Dad," I explained in my best HR Authority Voice, "That information is unnecessary. Not to mention illegal for employers to ask."
"It is?" he questions. "But those are my favorite questions to ask in interviews"
Suddenly, I realize we have a bigger problem then resumes for 1988.
Oh and for the record. The resume is for a appointment to the State Plumbing Licensing Board.... not for a new job.
We you come to work at Family Owned, Inc. and you are an actual family memeber, you have to stay until you die per the rules. And no one dares to eff with our rules, by golly!
"How hard could it be?" I thought
Then he handed be his current resume, from 1988. Our purchasing agent, who was his secratary at the time had typed it for him on her typewritter. It lists my Dad's birthday, my mom and her birthday and my brother and I with our respective ages at the time.
Clearly I thought wrong, now didn't I?
Seeing as in 1988 I was in kindergarten and didn't give two craps about resumes, I have no idea if this was proper procedure or not..... I'm assuming it was the aquanet and the hightop Reeboks that caused people to do such things.
After blowing the dust of his resume and looking over his list of accomplishments for the past 22 years my creative HR skills kicked into gear. I typed up a new resume. Complete with accomplishments, licenses held, degrees, occupations, responsibilties, etc. etc.
If that resume came across an HR Director's desk, I feel confident they would kiss me.
(yes, I really think a lot of myself don't I?.... blame my mother, she told me that some people didn't like me in high school because they were just jealous of my good looks and my smarts.... really people, she still tells me that. In fact, just yesterday, I told her about an old lady that gave me the side eye in the grocery store and my mom said "Honey, she's just jealous because your boobs aren't at your knees" According to my mother, that fact that typically I'm just a bitch has nothing to do with why people don't like me.)
Anyway....
I showed my latest creation to my Dad, in the same fashion I would have showed him a coloring book page as a kingergartener.
His response? Where's my birthdate? Why didn't you put anything down about Mommy? (yes, when asking LB or I about my Mom he calls her Mommy. I know, it melts my heart too)
"Dad," I explained in my best HR Authority Voice, "That information is unnecessary. Not to mention illegal for employers to ask."
"It is?" he questions. "But those are my favorite questions to ask in interviews"
Suddenly, I realize we have a bigger problem then resumes for 1988.
Oh and for the record. The resume is for a appointment to the State Plumbing Licensing Board.... not for a new job.
We you come to work at Family Owned, Inc. and you are an actual family memeber, you have to stay until you die per the rules. And no one dares to eff with our rules, by golly!
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