Anatomy of a J-Berg Run

Since starting the Couch 2 5k Program, I've become a bit of a running addict.

I started the program in May and have stuck to it. Granted, I am not as consistent as I'd like to be. My schedule only allows for so much. So I run when I can and I don't fret when I can't.

Wednesday was my first day back from a 6 day break. It was a mental battle between the good exerciser and the lazy ass that both live in my head. The run went something like this:

Warm Up:  Currently Playing: Laura Bell Bundy's Giddy on Up and OneRepublic's Good Life.

1st Run:  Slow Down, don't run so fast. You'll ware yourself out.
               Watch out for the kids on their bikes, they aren't watching you.
              Slow down!

1st Walk: Whew... good stuff

2nd Run: (Strides a little shorter, breathing a lot quicker, still smiling)

45 seconds prior to stopping point..... Can we walk yet?
                                   NO!

2nd Walk: Glad it's walking time

3rd Run: 1/2 Way There, We Can Do It!
45 seconds prior to stopping point...... Really, can we walk yet?
                              
                             NO!

3rd Walk: Thank you sweet Jesus!

4th Run: Okay we can do this, last one!
              Why are we running? We hate running
              Keep Pushing, We like running!
              I don't think so!
             Stick your pelvis out, the running article said you need to do that
             Who said that was a good idea? Whore run this way....
             Do whores run?
             Keep moving, pick those feet up! How would you know how whores run?
            F my feet, who needs feet
            For real, you just said you didn't need your feet? How the heck are you going to get home?
           Crawl.... I will crawl.....
           Almost done, almost there

Cool Down: I LOVE RUNNING.

Didn't I just hate my feet 2 minutes ago?

Mind Your Own Weight Loss Journey J-Berg

Friday afternoon I found myself in a bit of a pickle. I was super busy at work, had a million things to do that needed to be done NOW, and no time for lunch.

So I made the mad dash to my local S*bw*y to grab my typical 6" turkey on wheat.

While waiting in what can only be described as an epically long line, the woman in front of me struck up a conversation.

(Apparently, reading emails on your smart phone while writing notes to yourself on scrap of paper from your purse means you look like you're ready to engage in meaningless small talk..... I know, I'm a bitch)

Anywho-

The woman in front of me was the typical domestic goddess of my small town. Stretch pants, over sized sweatshirt complete with iron-on teddy bear applique, she had a limited amount of teeth, her hair over bleached with 3" roots.

(see why I wasn't excited to talk to her)

She proceeded to tell me how she hates walking into fast food restaurants and seeing all the junk they supply kids. She pointed to the drink cooler and told me about how much sugar is in most of those drinks.

I smiled and told her I understood how she felt but at least S*bw*ay sold low fat milk, yogurt and apple slices for kids and adults alike.

She nodded and told me she had just begun her weight loss journey and had started watching what she ate, gave up soda and started going to the gym.

I congratulated her and asked her how it was going.

She said she doesn't own a scale but has noticed that her clothes are feeling looser and her energy is improving.

I told her that she must be very proud of her self and commented on how sometimes the smallest changes make the biggest differences.

It was then time to order.

She ordered a foot long meatball and pepperoni sub with extra cheese and extra mayo (Mayo? Meatballs? EWW!)

She also picked up two bags of sun chips (both for her, she told me so) and got a bottled sprite (which isn't soda because its clear, as she informed me).

I smiled and nodded and wished her luck.
All the while chewing on the side of my tongue.

Mind your own business, J-Berg.
Are you the perfect example of diet and exercise and healthy eating habits?
Nope!

Moral of the story, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.... or doughnuts for that matter.

We're all traveling a long road when it comes to health and weight loss.
Be kind, and don't stop of offer directions unless of course you're asked.
And even then, speak kindly, it's not easy for you, why should it be easy for anyone else?

Brace Yourself Kids.... We're Going to Fat Camp

I should preface this email with the following statement:
I love my MeeMee (Meem's) and Pops. I really, really do. They are wonderful grandparents. However, when it comes to body image, food and healthy eating, MeeMee knows not what she does.details to follow.....
A month from next Wednesday Mr. Berg and I are going on our first family vacation with my brother and parents. We (as in everyone going) should be excited. But sadly, no one is.

We are traveling to Florida to visit my mom's parents. My Pops will soon be turning 90 and his health is failing. This may very well be our last visit to see him. He couldn't make our wedding a few years ago due to his health, and while he has met Mr. Berg, it's been probably five years since Mr. Berg has seen him.

We are long over due for this visit.

Unfortunately, that's where the tricky part comes in....

Meemee.

I love her. We all love her. But we also call her the Food Nazi. She's been on a diet for years and makes everyone else around her diet as well. She's so "into it" or "bad about it" that her friends stopped coming to her house for happy hour and nicknamed her the Naples Food Police Chief.

Pops has learned to eat things frozen because she'll freeze food so he can't eat it.

When my parents first got married my Dad came to bed one night when my grandparents were visiting and said to my mom "You know your Dad's in the kitchen eating frozen coffee cake?"
Mom was completely unfazed.

Meem's hides food from people. You can't send her anything "fattening" or "bad" because she'll throw it away. She's an evil dictator when it comes to food.

She also enjoys informing us of whether or not we're too fat. She loves to pick apart the food on our plates and "helps" us find something to order off of any menu. Any time she calls us she reports in on which cousin looks good and which cousin should invest in liposuction.

Any time we visit and stay with her, we have to sneak in food and eat in secret.
Most of the time we're successful however, there was that one time when my mom went to visit her and the ants found her chocolate bar stash.... then Meem's did.... and needless to say, MOM.WAS.SCREWED.


Now, I know I'm involved in the journey of weight loss for myself. I'm doing what I'm doing for me, for my life, my self image, my health etc.

However, if there was ever an extra incentive to drop an extra 5 pounds. This is it.

Back on the Wagon

A brief Thanksgiving update:

Not only did I go off the grid, I went off the freaking reservation....

Wine? Drank It

Chinese Food at 10pm? Ate It

Cheese Ball? Devoured It

Over Indulged? Guilty as charged.

And trust me, I paid for it.

I feel like crap on a stick.

However, here are some positives of the trip:

1. New sneakers (that's tennis shoes for you in the South)
   
2. Lucy Clothes- Have y'all ever been to Lucy? You gotta go... great women's workout wear
   
3. New Sports Bra- 'nuff said

Plus, I came home to a new WW plan. I really, really like this new plan, but I am very confused by it too.
Instead of 20 points, I now get 29. Some of my food went up in points, some things are now zero points- like fruit.

It's hard to keep track of everything but I'm learning as I go.

I would love to give you a more detailed account of everything, however, I'm slightly overwhelmed today.
First day back to work, new WW plan, new work out schedule, I'm a mess.

Grocery Store Sightings, Round 2

Because it isn't all about making my butt smaller....


Random Friday Around Lunch Time:

12 year old boy whining to his mom about wanting pizza rolls wearing an "I Love Boobies" T-shirt.

1. Why wasn't he in school?
2. What mother lets her son out of the house like that? Seriously, I hope the poor woman couldn't read

Typical Wednesday- Rush Hour
A crazed looking late 20 something in a grey t shirt with purple lettering, red gym shorts and pink sneakers sprinting through the baking aisle with a bag of chocolate chunks in her hand. As she turned toward check out you could clearly see the hand prints left in flour on her ass and a blob of cookie dough stuck to her back....

(This may or may not have been me)

Today- Pouring Down Rain- Lunch Time
A check out boy with hair to his waist was scanning my two bags of salad. (We were out)
His hair was stringy and damp looking...
JB- Did you just walk through that crazy downpour outside?
CB- Nope, been here since 8 this morning, haven't been outside
JB- {confused look}
Internal Monologue "Why does his hair look so wet?"

Shutter.....

LB and the City

This weekend Mr. Berg and I had the pleasure of visiting LB- aka My Little (Way taller then me) Brother in the big city.

LB is a recent college graduate. He got a highly covetted job in the big city and has since been nothing but a success. I couldn't be more proud of him. He's done a lot of things his big sister would be too scared to do.

He moved 2 hours from home to a city he'd never been to before. He found a roommate, got an apartment and settled into the Big City like it has always been his home.

For the record:
After I graduated from college I stayed south, found an apartment and a job and developed a life too. But I played it safe. I stayed in my college town, and even though it was five hours away from home, it was still safe and familiar. So really, I didn't go out on much limb now did I?

LB on the other hand.
Wow-
for a kid that couldn't find his way to Taco Bell a few years ago, he's doing great things. He navigates the city like a pro, granted he does have GPS and once took me on an inpromptu tour of South Jersey. He has tons of friends, joined a baseball league, rides the train, runs the Tow Path. He's seriously amazing.

We spent our Saturday afternoon eating at an amazing Mexican restaurant, walked the downtown area. Window shopped and explored before returning home for some basketball watching.

Later, LB's friend Vinny joined us for an late afternoon cheesesteak (AMAZING!), a tour of LB's most recent construction project and finally settled in at LB's favorite bar for drinks and converstation.

Prior to Vinny's arrival, LB confessed he's been trying to set up a date with a girl he met at work.
He told me a her name and that she's been tending bar at a near by restuarant while working her her master's degree.

Our converstation about her went something like this:

JBerg: So, what does she look like?
LB: I dunno, she's cute. She's my type.
JBerg: So, tall, blonde and big boobs?
LB: She does not have big boobs..... (turns red)

For the record, if you lined up pictures off all LB's girlfriends. With the except of two short lived relationships. All were blonde, tall and had big boobs.

At the bar with Vinny, James again brough up "the new girl" again.

Vinny says: "So, LB, is she cute?"
LB: Beautiful
Vinny: Tall, blonde, big boobs?

Ladies and Gentlemen, my point has been proven!


Thanks LB for a great visit.
Hope it all works out with Blondie :)