My Dad asked me to update his resume today. Being the sweet, loveable, (anal) HR professional of a daughter that I am, I agreed.
"How hard could it be?" I thought
Then he handed be his current resume, from 1988. Our purchasing agent, who was his secratary at the time had typed it for him on her typewritter. It lists my Dad's birthday, my mom and her birthday and my brother and I with our respective ages at the time.
Clearly I thought wrong, now didn't I?
Seeing as in 1988 I was in kindergarten and didn't give two craps about resumes, I have no idea if this was proper procedure or not..... I'm assuming it was the aquanet and the hightop Reeboks that caused people to do such things.
After blowing the dust of his resume and looking over his list of accomplishments for the past 22 years my creative HR skills kicked into gear. I typed up a new resume. Complete with accomplishments, licenses held, degrees, occupations, responsibilties, etc. etc.
If that resume came across an HR Director's desk, I feel confident they would kiss me.
(yes, I really think a lot of myself don't I?.... blame my mother, she told me that some people didn't like me in high school because they were just jealous of my good looks and my smarts.... really people, she still tells me that. In fact, just yesterday, I told her about an old lady that gave me the side eye in the grocery store and my mom said "Honey, she's just jealous because your boobs aren't at your knees" According to my mother, that fact that typically I'm just a bitch has nothing to do with why people don't like me.)
Anyway....
I showed my latest creation to my Dad, in the same fashion I would have showed him a coloring book page as a kingergartener.
His response? Where's my birthdate? Why didn't you put anything down about Mommy? (yes, when asking LB or I about my Mom he calls her Mommy. I know, it melts my heart too)
"Dad," I explained in my best HR Authority Voice, "That information is unnecessary. Not to mention illegal for employers to ask."
"It is?" he questions. "But those are my favorite questions to ask in interviews"
Suddenly, I realize we have a bigger problem then resumes for 1988.
Oh and for the record. The resume is for a appointment to the State Plumbing Licensing Board.... not for a new job.
We you come to work at Family Owned, Inc. and you are an actual family memeber, you have to stay until you die per the rules. And no one dares to eff with our rules, by golly!
