A Journey Not a Race

Wednesday are miserable days for me. Wednesdays are the little voice inside my head's favorite day of the week.
He starts as soon as I wake up in the mornings. He reminds me all day long that I weigh in tomorrow. He loves to tell me I'm a failure, I won't see a loss tomorrow morning. He laughed when I put on a pair of pants that were a tad tight his morning. He reminded me that my butt looked huge this morning.

In my heart of hearts, I know this isn't true. I know I'm doing a good job. I know I'm working my ass off, literally. Yesterday, at the mentoring program I run, I sat and watched as 15 students and 5 volunteers chowed down on what smelled like the most amazing pizza ever made. I didn't touch a single crumb, instead, I waited until I got home and ate a perfectly healthy and delicious meal that I had prepared for myself the night before. It was satisfying and didn't leave me a with a heavy, greasy feeling.

I know I am doing the right things. I'm eating plenty of veggies and fruits. All my proteins are lean, I'm drinking gallons upon gallons of water. I look forward to my daily work outs. I love playing with the video rotation feature on the firm website.

I am making good decisions and when I don't, I learn from my mistakes too. I am not perfect. But I'm sure as hell trying...


I really hope it see a loss tomorrow when I stand on the scale. I really hope to be rewarded with a smaller number for all of the hard work I am doing.

But if that doesn't happen I have to remind myself of this:
- The number might stay the same but my body looks different.
- In the past week I've noticed a huge different in my shoulders, chest and arms. My biceps are more defined. There is definition in my neck, shoulders and chest that wasn't there before.
- Jeans I haven't been able to wear comfortably in years are almost too big
- I fit into skinny jeans.... and I don't look like a sausage
- My stomach is getting smoother, less bulky.
- My core is stronger

I'm not racing to see how quickly the numbers on the scale go down. I'm on a journey to create a healthier, leaner me.

If I can just remember this when the little voice in my head acts up, I'd be golden.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.