FOR.REAL.

Well, that was interesting.....

While taking a mental break earlier this afternoon, I stumbled across something very interesting.... very intersting indeed.

I found GI Joe's facebook page.

Woah!
That was out of left field.

GI Joe and I have several mutual friends. Granted, mutual in this regard means, we are facebook friends.
We don't speak. We look at each others pictures.

While looking at our friend's pictures, there it was, a comment from GI Joe.

I clicked, of course.
And there it was, his page.

In almost 6 years I've never come across it before. I've looked for it a few times over the years but never very hard.

And lo and behold, on this random of Mondays....
There he was.
He, his wife, their kid.

I waited for it.
I waited for the hurt, the pain, the discomfort.... the anything really.

What I felt was this:
A bit of shock:  mostly that he was really out there somewhere (sometimes I like to pretend my ex-boyfriends fell off the face of the earth)
A sense of calm- He's okay. I knew he was disployed a few times. My biggest fear was that he would die and I wouldn't know. Okay, that's morbid to type.
Pride- He got his wish, be was deployed to fight the war on terror.
Bittersweetness- Wow, I used to be in love with him and I'm really not anymore

and most of all-
Relief- I don't have to be sad, I don't have to seek out his love and affection. I'm not crying every day and unable to explain why. I'm not worrying for him while he's at war. I'm not living on an airforce base somewhere, miserable. I don't have to shop at the BX. I don't have to put up with bullshit and protocals and distance and BDfrickingUs.


I have a good life that I made with my own two hands. I found a partner who loves me and cherishes me and who I hope to spend the rest of my days with.
I have a good life. I have the life that I always hoped I would get. I am lucky, so very, very lucky.

Its funny to look back on what you had, what you thought was so important and suddenly you realize you're glad you are that isn't your life anymore.

I thought I knew what I was doing, God had such a better path for me.
I'm so thankful he lead me in that direction.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am so glad I went through hell and back with GI Joe.
Otherwise, I wouldn't cherish my life like I do.


I should really thank God that so many unanswered prayers.