Oh my...... nobody warned me about this....
Little Man is 10 months old. And in his lifetime he's slept through the night probably 10 times. Yeah, you read that right. 10.
Oy! Mama is so tired.
I completely blame this problem on Little Man's parents. We keep feeding him when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Why? Because when we fed him and he would go back to sleep. Thus, we could go back to sleep. No tears, no fussing, just sleep. Perfect, glorious, magnificent sleep.
Except, now Little Man is 10 months old and he's far too old to be pulling this crap. Plus, he know thinks middle of the night wake ups are play time. He hardly drinks his bottles. Instead he pulls at our ears and noses. Tries to play peek-a-boo and generally drives us insane.
So, Monday night we attempted to stop feeding him in the middle of the night.
(I should add that I made this decision when he woke up. Not prior to going to bed. I am INSANE)
What? Cold Turkey??
We aren't that mean. In 8 of the 10 nights prior, Little Man drank maybe 1-2oz of the 4oz we prepared for him. So don't freak out, he wasn't really drinking it anyway.
Monday night he cried, fussed, whined and finally screamed for a bottle. I held him off for 45 minutes and probably could have gone all night, but he got himself so worked up. It wasn't fair. So, he drank his 4oz and went to sleep. He slept until morning.
Tuesday night Mr. Berg went in when hestarted fussing. He was able to rock him and get him back to sleep. Which lasted an entire 20 minutes before he woke up mad. I went in, rocked him, shushed my face off and finally after another 30 minutes gave in and gave him a bottle. He promptly drank it and went back to sleep, staying asleep until morning.
I woke up Wednesday morning unsure if I should count this as a victory or a defeat. But I promised myself to stick with it.
Last night he was up at 1:30am. Mr. Berg went him and got him back to sleep quickly.
He slept until almost 3:30am before waking again.
I went in, rocked him, shushed him and he went back to sleep just before 4am.
And slept until 6am.
No middle of the night bottle needed.
So, again, do I count this as a victory or defeat?
Victory on the no bottle front
Defeat on the sleep front.
I keep telling myself that once he figured out there are no bottles to be had, he'll start sleeping longer.
True? I can pretend right?
Meanwhile, there just isn't enough coffee in the world right now.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Wouldn't Have Listened Anyway
A few weeks ago I had a crazy dream regarding GI Joe. (I know, it shocked me too)
I hadn't thought of him for a long, long time until one night I was running about of songs to sing to little man. For whatever reason, Matchbox 20's Bright Lights popped into my head and I sang it. All the while, remembering someone who broke my heart and the feelings of desperation, loss and devastation that followed those moments in my life. Gosh, it feels it was a life time of sadness but in reality, it wasn't more then a couple of months.
Later I put a little boy down in his crib and smiled to myself thinking about how amazing my life turned out to be.
Later that night, my subconscious went to work.
In my dream I knew that I wasn't married, didn't have a child and was on my own. I was attending some sort of business function and was staying at a hotel. In my dream, I knew there was a possibility I would run into GI Joe.
*side note: That probably stems from a real life fear/concern that I might run into GI Joe in an airport someday. I have no idea what that's a concern for me, but it is. I'm strange- I know*
Anyway.....
As the dream goes on I end up running into GI Joe. We saw each other from across the lobby and walked towards one another. We embrace, kiss and look into each others eyes. Then I suddenly felt a sinking feeling and found myself looking down at my hands searching for my wedding band and engagement ring. My fingers were empty, there was dent in my skin where my rings were to be. I remember asking for my family, for my husband, my son... and someone said to me "You aren't married, you don't have a husband. You don't have any children."
And then I woke up, completely devastated.
It took my a while to wake up and inventory my life. My husband was sleeping next to me, my son was sleeping across the hall. I looked at my hand and admired my rings, finally calming down and relaxing back into my pillows.
I wish I could go back and tell the old, sad and broken me how awesome life was about to get. How it is always darkest before the dawn. How, the darkness I felt that was just the start of a whole new and amazing life that was just around the corner.
I wish I would tell her those things. But the truth is, we all know she wouldn't have listened anyway. 23 year olds are annoying like that.
I hadn't thought of him for a long, long time until one night I was running about of songs to sing to little man. For whatever reason, Matchbox 20's Bright Lights popped into my head and I sang it. All the while, remembering someone who broke my heart and the feelings of desperation, loss and devastation that followed those moments in my life. Gosh, it feels it was a life time of sadness but in reality, it wasn't more then a couple of months.
Later I put a little boy down in his crib and smiled to myself thinking about how amazing my life turned out to be.
Later that night, my subconscious went to work.
In my dream I knew that I wasn't married, didn't have a child and was on my own. I was attending some sort of business function and was staying at a hotel. In my dream, I knew there was a possibility I would run into GI Joe.
*side note: That probably stems from a real life fear/concern that I might run into GI Joe in an airport someday. I have no idea what that's a concern for me, but it is. I'm strange- I know*
Anyway.....
As the dream goes on I end up running into GI Joe. We saw each other from across the lobby and walked towards one another. We embrace, kiss and look into each others eyes. Then I suddenly felt a sinking feeling and found myself looking down at my hands searching for my wedding band and engagement ring. My fingers were empty, there was dent in my skin where my rings were to be. I remember asking for my family, for my husband, my son... and someone said to me "You aren't married, you don't have a husband. You don't have any children."
And then I woke up, completely devastated.
It took my a while to wake up and inventory my life. My husband was sleeping next to me, my son was sleeping across the hall. I looked at my hand and admired my rings, finally calming down and relaxing back into my pillows.
I wish I could go back and tell the old, sad and broken me how awesome life was about to get. How it is always darkest before the dawn. How, the darkness I felt that was just the start of a whole new and amazing life that was just around the corner.
I wish I would tell her those things. But the truth is, we all know she wouldn't have listened anyway. 23 year olds are annoying like that.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Recently at the Berg House
Mr. Berg: Where did this Kate Spade bag come from?
JBerg: It was on our door step on Thursday when I got home from work
MB: How did it get there?
JB: UPS
MB: You know that's not what I meant
JB: Well, then what did you mean?
MB: I thought you said you weren't going to buy anymore purses?
JB: I did
MB: So what is this?
JB: A Tote Bag
MB: {Raises Eye Brow}
JB: There is a difference!
MB: {look of death}
JB: {shrugs shoulders and walks away}
Seriously, what am I going to do with him?
JBerg: It was on our door step on Thursday when I got home from work
MB: How did it get there?
JB: UPS
MB: You know that's not what I meant
JB: Well, then what did you mean?
MB: I thought you said you weren't going to buy anymore purses?
JB: I did
MB: So what is this?
JB: A Tote Bag
MB: {Raises Eye Brow}
JB: There is a difference!
MB: {look of death}
JB: {shrugs shoulders and walks away}
Seriously, what am I going to do with him?
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Let's Talk About My Pants
Because I'm sure my pants are the first thing on everyone's minds this morning, right?
I'm having a serious problem in the pants department. Pants that fit me incredibly well prior to getting pregnant/during the early parts of my pregnancy are now falling into one of two categories.
Category #1: Too small.
Category #2: Too big.
Please note there is not a Category #3: Just Right.
Nope, I haz no pants.
Last week I tried on a pair of grey slacks that I got the spring before I go pregnant. Typically they have always fit well. Maybe a little bit tight around my waist went I'm not careful but overall, fantastic fit. Last week they were so far up my crotch I thought I would end up with a UTI or worse.
Yesterday I put on my favorite pair of khaki pants. I've had these suckers since college. They have been my faithful friends for many, many years. Until I went and had a baby. Now they are way too loose around the thighs and way too tight around my belly. What the heck?
Today I have on another favorite pair, black dress pants, in my usual size, in my favorite fit from Loft. I look like I have a load in my pants and they are too loose around my belly and sitting too low on my hips. Does that even make sense to you?
So basically, I'm a pants misfit.
I either look poured into them or swimming out of them. Either way, it isn't pretty. I have an entire closet of problem pants and no solution in mind.
Here's hoping when I switch out my fall/winter clothing with my spring/summer clothing I have better luck.
A girl can dream, can't she?
I'm having a serious problem in the pants department. Pants that fit me incredibly well prior to getting pregnant/during the early parts of my pregnancy are now falling into one of two categories.
Category #1: Too small.
Category #2: Too big.
Please note there is not a Category #3: Just Right.
Nope, I haz no pants.
Last week I tried on a pair of grey slacks that I got the spring before I go pregnant. Typically they have always fit well. Maybe a little bit tight around my waist went I'm not careful but overall, fantastic fit. Last week they were so far up my crotch I thought I would end up with a UTI or worse.
Yesterday I put on my favorite pair of khaki pants. I've had these suckers since college. They have been my faithful friends for many, many years. Until I went and had a baby. Now they are way too loose around the thighs and way too tight around my belly. What the heck?
Today I have on another favorite pair, black dress pants, in my usual size, in my favorite fit from Loft. I look like I have a load in my pants and they are too loose around my belly and sitting too low on my hips. Does that even make sense to you?
So basically, I'm a pants misfit.
I either look poured into them or swimming out of them. Either way, it isn't pretty. I have an entire closet of problem pants and no solution in mind.
Here's hoping when I switch out my fall/winter clothing with my spring/summer clothing I have better luck.
A girl can dream, can't she?
Monday, May 13, 2013
Mama's Day
My first Mother's Day as a full fledge Mama was incredible. It started out early as Mr. Berg brought a sweet, smiley little boy into our room that would not stop saying "MaMaMaMaMa" this phrase has typically only been reserved for green beans in the past. Good job, Buddy.
From flowers and chocolate covered strawberries, to new yoga pants and lunch complete with cupcakes from my favorite place I town- it was a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. I couldn't have asked for any better.
In other news, I was doing so well on eating cleanly last week. I was even down 1.5 pounds, and then I made homemade mac and cheese for Ryan and proceeded to eat half of it. It doesn't count if it's a cooking light recipe, right?
No? You're probably right about that.... but goodness gracious, it was good and Ryan loves it!
Oh well, moving on.
Mr. Berg will be doing a lot of studying this week and into the weekend in preparation for an exam his has on Monday. Something about insurance certification work. Please don't take my lack of understanding as indifference, he's explained it to me at least a dozen times and I still don't get it. (probably a good thing I don't do the insurance work in this family)
So, because Mr. Berg needs to study and prefers a quieter house for that and because I ate my weight in macaroni and cheese Ryan and I will be taking a good many walks this week. Nothing says getting in shape like pushing a 20 pound stroller with an 18 pound kid inside up hill.... many, many hills.
I'm determined to kill this muffin top. DETERMINED.
Having an almost 10 month old, I am aware that my body will never look like it once looked. I also realize that prior to having Ryan, when I was heavier or lighter, 18 or 28, my stomach has always been my most troubled area. Thus, I cannot even pretend to want perfection there. But the pooch, oh the pooch, it must die. And quickly!
And so, that's like around these parts.
Happy Monday y'all.
From flowers and chocolate covered strawberries, to new yoga pants and lunch complete with cupcakes from my favorite place I town- it was a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. I couldn't have asked for any better.
In other news, I was doing so well on eating cleanly last week. I was even down 1.5 pounds, and then I made homemade mac and cheese for Ryan and proceeded to eat half of it. It doesn't count if it's a cooking light recipe, right?
No? You're probably right about that.... but goodness gracious, it was good and Ryan loves it!
Oh well, moving on.
Mr. Berg will be doing a lot of studying this week and into the weekend in preparation for an exam his has on Monday. Something about insurance certification work. Please don't take my lack of understanding as indifference, he's explained it to me at least a dozen times and I still don't get it. (probably a good thing I don't do the insurance work in this family)
So, because Mr. Berg needs to study and prefers a quieter house for that and because I ate my weight in macaroni and cheese Ryan and I will be taking a good many walks this week. Nothing says getting in shape like pushing a 20 pound stroller with an 18 pound kid inside up hill.... many, many hills.
I'm determined to kill this muffin top. DETERMINED.
Having an almost 10 month old, I am aware that my body will never look like it once looked. I also realize that prior to having Ryan, when I was heavier or lighter, 18 or 28, my stomach has always been my most troubled area. Thus, I cannot even pretend to want perfection there. But the pooch, oh the pooch, it must die. And quickly!
And so, that's like around these parts.
Happy Monday y'all.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Good Stuff, Bad Stuff and All Points In Between
So far, May has gotten off to a much better start then April did.... THANK GOODNESS
As I continue to focus on dropping those last few pesky pounds left over from pregnancy I found two new blogs to keep me inspired. Just what I needed. And the best part, these are Mom-Blogs! Mom's who had kids and working hard keeping their families and their health in high priority. I love it!
What is also helpful is the predictability of our schedules lately. With Mr. Berg studying for his latest certification exam, he's been less inclined to schedule late meetings or attending networking functions. It's nice to have an extra body in the house.
While I still feel like I'm constantly on an ever spinning treadmill, I'm beginning to find a rhythm. A fast paced, never ending, oh wait there's one more thing to do, but a rhythm none then less. I like it.
Yesterday I finally started facing the reality of Bob's passing. I finally packed up his old, ratty, worn out bed and put it out with the trash last night. It was in terrible shape, and wasn't worth keeping. Had it been in okay shape, I would have donated it or at least used it as back up. He crate is still in the garage with his name tag from the emergency vet. I'm not sure what to do with it. So for now, I'll just leave it out there. Maybe I'll clean it up and sell it at our yard sale? Maybe I'll donate it? Does anyone need a used cat carrier?
I miss him. It's still weird to not have him around.
Sophie has finally adjusted to being an only cat. Poor thing, it was once her life's ambition to be an only cat. Now that Bob has passed, she's feeling a little bit lost. I think we all are.
Its funny the way life ebbs and flows. One minute to feel like your drowning in all the sadness and stress and shit that's been thrown your way. The minute you're floating along, enjoying the calm waters around you, feeling the sunshine on your face. I think the moral to that story, is to just keep going. You just never know where you'll end up.
As I continue to focus on dropping those last few pesky pounds left over from pregnancy I found two new blogs to keep me inspired. Just what I needed. And the best part, these are Mom-Blogs! Mom's who had kids and working hard keeping their families and their health in high priority. I love it!
What is also helpful is the predictability of our schedules lately. With Mr. Berg studying for his latest certification exam, he's been less inclined to schedule late meetings or attending networking functions. It's nice to have an extra body in the house.
While I still feel like I'm constantly on an ever spinning treadmill, I'm beginning to find a rhythm. A fast paced, never ending, oh wait there's one more thing to do, but a rhythm none then less. I like it.
Yesterday I finally started facing the reality of Bob's passing. I finally packed up his old, ratty, worn out bed and put it out with the trash last night. It was in terrible shape, and wasn't worth keeping. Had it been in okay shape, I would have donated it or at least used it as back up. He crate is still in the garage with his name tag from the emergency vet. I'm not sure what to do with it. So for now, I'll just leave it out there. Maybe I'll clean it up and sell it at our yard sale? Maybe I'll donate it? Does anyone need a used cat carrier?
I miss him. It's still weird to not have him around.
Sophie has finally adjusted to being an only cat. Poor thing, it was once her life's ambition to be an only cat. Now that Bob has passed, she's feeling a little bit lost. I think we all are.
Its funny the way life ebbs and flows. One minute to feel like your drowning in all the sadness and stress and shit that's been thrown your way. The minute you're floating along, enjoying the calm waters around you, feeling the sunshine on your face. I think the moral to that story, is to just keep going. You just never know where you'll end up.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
One Month from Today
One month from today I will be putting the final items in my suitcase, washing my sheets and towels, packing for Ryan's visit to Grammy and Grampa's house, ensuring Sophie has her needs meet and driving to the big city airport that Mr. Berg and I can never quite figure out how to park at. (At least this time we won't be navigating it in the dark).
We leave for Germany in a month.
Holy.Crap!
In order to keep me focused, on task and well.... organized (ha! theme much?) I'm putting together a list of things I need to do. Here goes nothing....
Health and Fitness:
Work Out 3x A Week plus Walks with the Family
Stop Eating Off of Ryan's Plate (seriously, I'm fat because I steal food from my 9 month old)
Drink 100oz of Water EVERYDAY (not just Monday- Thursday)
Limit Soda... oh Diet Pepsi, I'm sorry but we have to break up... again
Hold myself accountable on WW- It only works if I work it.
Marriage Goals:
Spend more "time" with Mr.Berg
y'all should feel real bad for him right now
Household Goals:
Plant Spring Flowers
Figure Out the Bush Situation.... more on that one later
Organize the Hall Closet
Reorganize the Towels..... firstworldproblemsmuch?
Move my spring/summer clothing into my closet.
Bag up and prepare to donate my fall/winter clothing that I don't wear anymore
Meal Planning thru June 6th
Random Goals:Do not under any circumstance, charge stuff to my credit cards.
Y'all, those things are out of control.
And now.... time to hit the ground running
We leave for Germany in a month.
Holy.Crap!
In order to keep me focused, on task and well.... organized (ha! theme much?) I'm putting together a list of things I need to do. Here goes nothing....
Health and Fitness:
Work Out 3x A Week plus Walks with the Family
Stop Eating Off of Ryan's Plate (seriously, I'm fat because I steal food from my 9 month old)
Drink 100oz of Water EVERYDAY (not just Monday- Thursday)
Limit Soda... oh Diet Pepsi, I'm sorry but we have to break up... again
Hold myself accountable on WW- It only works if I work it.
Marriage Goals:
Spend more "time" with Mr.Berg
y'all should feel real bad for him right now
Household Goals:
Plant Spring Flowers
Figure Out the Bush Situation.... more on that one later
Organize the Hall Closet
Reorganize the Towels..... firstworldproblemsmuch?
Move my spring/summer clothing into my closet.
Bag up and prepare to donate my fall/winter clothing that I don't wear anymore
Meal Planning thru June 6th
Random Goals:Do not under any circumstance, charge stuff to my credit cards.
Y'all, those things are out of control.
And now.... time to hit the ground running
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