Three Years

I remember exactly where I was when we got the news.
It was a beautiful spring evening. The sun was shining, the breeze was blowing. I was living at home at the time. Mom had all the windows in the house open and everything smelled just like it should in the spring, fresh and new.

I had just come home from spinning class and was perched on the edge of my parent's bed having a typicalconversation with my mom. It was 6'oclock in the early evening. Usually, my mom doesn't make a habit of lounging in bed, however, she had just had a biopsy done on her foot and she was resting.
The phone rang, caller ID indicated it was my uncle. We almost didn't pick up the phone, he typically only calls for my Dad anyway.

As soon as my mom answered, I knew something was wrong. I remember her repeating over and over, just "just tell me, He's (my dad) not home yet, he's in a meeting."

The conversation continued and my mom's face grew paler and paler. It wasn't good news.

She hung up with a the words "just keep calling until he picks up, he'll know it's an emergency if you just keep calling."

She looked me square in the eye and said "Big J's had a stroke."

My heart dropped.

From that moment on, life would never be the same.
In the following hours that evening an emergency meeting of my Dad's 5 brothers and sisters was called. My grandpa had had a stroke. He was in Naples, FL at his vacation home. He can been complaining of a headache all day. All afternoon he laid on the bathroom floor, telling his wife it wasn't a big deal.

By the time she called an ambulance, he was unresponsive. He was at Naples Community Hospital, the medical staff were doing everything they could.

It was decided that my step-aunt and my uncle would fly to Naples on the first flight out. The rest would wait until more information could be gathered.

For the next two days we waited for phone calls, for answers, for miracles. We got plenty of the first and second, nothing of the third.

Finally the phone call came that we call knew would come, but hoped would not. Grandpa showed no signs of normal brain activity. He would not recover.

Arrangements were made, I booked flights for my dad, his sister and two brothers. Meanwhile, I stayed at Family Owned Inc, and held down the fort.

We didn't tell the rest of the people at Family Owned Inc, the grim news, we just explained that everyone needed to be there.

For an whole day I sat in the office, trying to muddle through my day as employee after employee walked by to tell me how they were praying for us and that they knew my grandpa would pull through, they told me how they believed he was a fighter.

How could I tell them there was no fight left?

He died later that evening, after everyone had had their chance to say goodbye.
Truth be told, he died several days earlier, on his bathroom floor. Machines, medicine and good doctor's kept the rest going.

On the day of his stroke he had bought a new car and two new pairs of shoes.
My Dad canceled the car deal and later returned the shoes.
They were the first of millions of pieces by Dad had to clean up, and continues to clean up to this very day.

My brother turned 23 that day after my Grandpa's death.
I took my Mom to the doctor to have the mole on her foot removed.
We drove to Williamsport the next day, Mom, Mr. Berg and me, to celebrate my brother's birthday and watch him play baseball.
His team won, our hearts were broken.

He was laid to rest a week later in a his plot next to his first wife, my grandmother. Since his funeral, I've only returned once, to lay my great grand mother to rest, a year and three months later.

Now, three years later, the only feeling I can recognize is that's bitter sweet.
I miss him, I miss him every day. But our relationship wasn't typical. There were no fishing trips or Grandpa, Granddaughter Dances. He wasn't there for most of my birthdays. He probably only came to a handful of my events.

It wasn't until I returned from Virginia that we developed any sort of relationship. Twice, in 24 years, he told me he was proud of me, that he was impressed by me, that I was doing a good job. Both times were within 6 weeks of each other and within 6 months of his death.
He knew being the first born of my generation wouldn't be easy. He saw my struggles, he pushed me to keep fighting and for that, I will be forever grateful.
Even now, when I wonder what to do, or question why I do what I do, I hear his voice, he always tells me to keep fighting. And I do..... I always do.

I'm sad there wasn't more time. I'm sad I didn't have the opportunity to learn everything I wanted to learn from him.

He was amazing. Amazing at business, amazing at investing, amazingly self centered and amazingly void of your typical grandfatherly emotions. But I understood it, he gave all that he could, none of what he couldn't. There was love there somewhere, and respect, so much respect. And in the end, I know he was proud of me and my brother. I know he loved us, I know he wanted to be more to us, but he just didn't know how.

He left quite the legacy, a strong, growing business, a huge family and a lot of accomplishments.
I know he's proud of us.


So much has changed in three years. I wish he could have been there.
And in my heart of hearts, I know he was, in spirit.

I wish I could talk to him on last time. I wish I could ask him the questions I wish I could have asked.
But at the same time, I know he's gone and I'm at peace with that.

Three years, it goes quick.

I miss him, I miss him every day.

I Blame the Masters

Did ya'll watch the Masters this weekend?

If you answered no, you're like the luckiest people on the face of the earth!

Mr. Berg loves the Masters. He loves it so much he's hell bent on watching every minute of it when its on.
And, he wants me to watch it with him..... No, I have no idea why.

I think he thinks it's romantic to share your favorites in life with your partner. I personally think this is a load of crap. I love to shop, do I drag him shopping with me? Hell no! The whining I have to put up with is totally unnecessary and totally ruins my vibe.

For whatever reason, when I whine during the Masters, it gets ignored.

So, for two days, I sat in the living room, surrounded by my magazines, laptop and cell phone as Mr. Berg watched the Masters and I pretended to enjoy it.

In the process I drank a whole bottle of wine,  ate 1/2 a pound of jelly beans and upteenmillion cheese and crackers.

I love my husband. I love that my husband wants to share his loves in life with me.
But seriously, I would have rather watched paint dry.

The Warrior was taken down by the Master(s).

However, I would like to mention, jelly beans and wine aside.
I did eat very healthy this weekend.
I said NO to macaroni and cheese..... and the world didn't stop turning.
I also worked out, gardened, cleaned the house, made banana bread, organized my recipes and called my friends.

So, all in all, it wasn't bad, it totally could have been worse :)

Warrior Challenge- Day Three

Yesterday's Review:
Yesterday I switched a few things up.
1st of all, I dropped my cheese stick in the afternoon and had 2 points worth of BBQ chips.
I know, processed crap. But goodness they were good.

I also used a few activity points for a glass of wine.

All in all. I broke even.

Today:

Breakfast: Same green monster smoothie as usual
Snack: Greek Yogurt/ Cherry Flavored
Lunch: 6" turkey sub with provolone cheese, red wine vinegar and a bunch of veggies. Apple Slices. Diet Coke (While running wildly through the grocery store.)
Snack: Small handful of BBQ Chips and 2 Fig Newtons. SERIOUSLY? Why did I eat those?
Dinner: Emily Bite's Deep Dish Pizza, carrots, Salad and a glass of wine.

Work Out: Firm Express Sculpt Workouts 1&4

Overview of Tomorrow:
Tomorrow is a scheduled day of rest. However, I may throw in a yoga dvd if I get some free time in the afternoon. We will have to see.
I also need to plan for my meals for tomorrow. As of right now I have a few ideas but nothing solid thus far.

I haven't been a perfect warrior. However, I'm doing a lot better then I have in a couple of weeks.
It's been a great challenge to stick with tracking and watching what goes in my mouth. Fig Newtons and BBQ Chips aside, I've done alright :)

In other news, I really have no news.
I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend and spending time with my husband. It's been a long week. I'm ready for some down time.

Warrior Challenge Day 2

Yesterday's Review:
All in all yesterday was a good day.

Breakfast and my morning snack went on as scheduled.

Lunch I made a few modifications:
1. No orange marmalade. Instead I used my English muffin as a bun and slapped some barbecue sauce on my burger to counter balance the sweetness of the honey wheat flavor.
2. Instead of a salad with a teaspoon of EVOO and vinegar. I had my usual dressing and blue cheese crumbles and a teaspoon of EVOO.

PM Snack and Dinner were no problem

I earned four points during my workout and treated myself to a 3pt cookie.

So, all in all, between dailies and activity points, I had one left over.

Weigh In: The Scale Lies!
It was weigh in morning at the Berg household.
According to the scale. I lost a pound this week.
Apparently I weigh 135.8.
Personally, I think the scale is a dirty liar. There is no way in hell I lost a pound this week.
But okay, I'll go with it.

Today:
Breakfast: Green Monster Smoothie with Spinach, Mixed Berries, Skim Milk, a banana and of course 1 tsp of EVOO.
I ate this around 6:15am

AM Snack: Lemon Flavored Greek Yogurt
Probably  around 10am

Lunch: Garden Burger on English Muffin with Cheese and BBQ Sauce.
Salad with Dressing, EVOO and blue cheese.
Mixed Veggies
12:15ish

PM Snack: Pear and a Cheese Stick
Around 3:30pm

Work Out: Firm Express Cardio WorkOuts 1&4
Around 5:00pm

Dinner: Sherry Soy Chicken with Brown Rice, Snap Peas and a Big Salad
Around 6:30pm

Another Reason Why Bob is Special

Bob took a trip to the vet's office yesterday. We hadn't been there since November, so obviously, it had been awhile.

Over the past couple of weeks I noticed Bob was coughing off and on. Nothing serious, but certainly something I kept an eye on.

After returning from vacation this weekend I noticed Bob's cough had gotten worse and he sounded terribly congested. Plus, he just looked like he didn't feel good.

I picked him up yesterday morning to take him in. In the seven minutes I was home I managed to step on Bob's foot and then his tail while trying to put him in his travel crate. And then I almost dropped him and the crate while falling from the house into the garage. Grace, isn't my middle name.

We arrived at the vet's office 20 minutes later. By this time Bob had cried so much in the car that he was squeaking instead of meowing.

Great, I was the girl with the 20 pound, hysterical cat that sounded like a mouse. Perfect.

I signed us in and took a seat on the bench, putting Bob's crate on the floor by my feet. He started coughing, his coughs grew louder and his crate starting rocking back and forth. Mini Cujo? Perhaps.

The two other pet owners sitting in the lobby with me looked horrified. Their expressions quickly changed to annoyance the minute Bob stopped coughing and started up on the squeaks.

We're popular people, Bob and Me.

Finally, our favorite vet tech appears and whisked Bob and I back to the exam room.
Heather, the tech, loves Bob. She makes over him as if he were a celebrity. Bob, lover of all people and affection, is happy to be in Heather's arms.

Our vet arrives soon after and we begin our exam.
I explain the symptoms and express my fear, we all know is coming, congestive heart failure.
Bob has a significant murmur, it increases his changes for heart failure 10 fold. Add to that his weight problems and other health issues, it doesn't look good.

The vet agrees and gives me a grim smile.

He starts listening to Bob's heart and lungs. The whole time remarking about how much Bob purrs.
We joked that he needed an off switch.

Good news, Bob's heart sounds great, lungs sound clear.

To be safe, the vet orders a chest x-ray and blood work to ensure we haven't caught anything in the early, early stages.
He then looks at Bob's teeth and mouth and throat.
WOAH- INFLAMMATION.

It's obvious he's got a sinus infection.
Easy enough to treat, not life threatening.

However, it doesn't explain the whooping cough.

Heather takes Bob off to have his x-rays and blood work.
They return 20 minutes later.
Bob's arm is wrapped in a pink bandage. (Heather knows him well)
The vet has the x-rays.

He tells me he's discovered some interesting things about our Bob.
From back to front:
-Bob's hips and lower spine are arthritic. This we know
-Bob's right kidney is non functioning and has stones in it. Again, this we know.
-Bob's liver is deformed. Huh? Vet thinks this is no big deal, since he's 12 and shows no signs of liver issues.
- Bob's "poop shoot" is full and semi compacted. Eww! (more on this later)
-Bob's heart is perfect in size and shape. Finally,  something is working the right way
-Bob's lungs are in fine working order, no fluids, no deformities. Yay!

And so, back to the "poop" shot.
The vet asks me if Bob is an obsessive licker or groomer.
As he's asking me this I see from the corner of my eye that Bob is licking the exam table.

I point to Bob who is now trying to eat a tuff of hair clinging to the floor of his crate.

I roll my eyes. The vet laughs so hard tears are rolling down his face.

Long story short. I dragged my cat 1/2 across town yesterday to discover he has a sinus infection and hair balls?

That's the best $300 I spent all week.

We returned home with some steroids, a round of antibiotics and tuna flavored laxative that's supposed to get things moving in the right direction.

Wish us luck. We're going to need it!

Can I Be A Warrior Too?

Secret Confession:I love to watch The Biggest Loser on Tuesday nights.
It's probably my biggest guilty TV watching pleasure. And while Mr. Berg claims he hates the show, he knows all the contestants names and I think he even shed a tear when Courtney said her final fair well last night.

I found myself to be very caught up in something that trainer Bob (omg, I love him) said last night.
As he coached the Blue Team on their first workout of the week, he told them he wanted them to be warriors. He wanted his team to use this week to power through, to strive for excellence, and to push each other to their greatest potentials.

As I sat there, in my cat hair covered yoga pants and sweatshirt, I found myself wondering.... Could I be a warrior too?

I've been lax in my weight loss journey this past week. Mr. Berg and I traveled South this past weekend to visit his family. In involved a lot of food, a lot of wine and a lot of stress. While I was careful and watched my portions and choices, I wasn't the world's best example of sucess.

Add to that, Monday I didn't workout. Instead I caught up on housework, did laundry, put up my Easter decroations all while I fought a nasty battle with the stink bugs that decided to invade my home. (I flushed 15 of those suckers on Monday).

And yesterday, for most of the day, I was down for the count with a very nasty bout of tummy trouble.
(I also took Bob to the vet, which is a funny story for later)

Anyway, back to what I was orginally talking about.

Today and for the week that follows, I am going to strive to be a WW warrior. I will track every thing that goes in my mouth, I will stick to my workout plan and I will measure EVERYTHING. (I've been really, really bad about that lately.)

I will also post my daily menus, track my water consumption and cut most processed foods from my diet. I will however, drink wine. Because wine, my friends, is the best part of my weekends.

I hope this challenge will be the jump start I need to get back on the stick. I have a wedding coming up. And yes, I do love my body just the way it is right now, but I'd love to see how much more I'd love it if I got to goal.
So, here we go.

Warrior Challenge: Day One
Breakfast- 6:15am
Green Monster- 1 Cup Frozen Mixed Berries, 2 Cups Organic Spinach, 1 Banana(frozen), 1 Cup Skim Milk and 1 tsp EVOO- Blended to perfection

Snack- Sometime between 9:30-10
Greek Yogurt
(Baby carrotts if needed)

Lunch- 12:15ish
Garden Burger Topped with Pepper Jack Cheese
Dipped in a Ketchup/Mustard Mix
Salad with Vinegar and 1tsp EVOO
Green Veggies (2/3 cups- give or take)
English Muffin with Orange Marmalade 

(Yes, I could put my burger on my english muffin, except, I got the honey wheat kind, which is gross with a burger. I learned this the hard way on Monday)

PM Snack- 3:30ish
Apple and String Cheese
(more baby carrots if needed)

Dinner:
Sherry Soy Chicken Breast
Brown Rice
Green Veggie
Salad

Exercise: Firm Express CS 1&4

We Interrupt Your Reguarly Schedule Blog for the Following Important Announcement

I have a nasty, nasty stomach virus.

Please try not to get in my way as I run to the nearest bathroom for the 400 millionth time.

That is all.

Bye for now.