McKirk the Jerk

Many moons ago, as my Mama would say, my brother and I were left in the care of Mrs. McKirk while my parents went on vacation. Mrs. McKirk was a piece of work.... to say the least.

She ran our house with military precision. From waking us up hours before our usual time, having us complete chores that our parents would never dream of us doing... wiping down baseboards much? She marched us to the bus stop 15 full minutes before it was scheduled to arrive. We were allowed to play in 15 minute intervals and we weren't allowed to turn on the TV.

I'm not saying my mom ran a circus. But we typically arrived at the bus stop 5 minutes prior to arrival, we woke up a decent hour every day and we had age appropriate chores- after all, I was probably in kindergarten when she stayed with us.
And we were allowed to watch TV, it was pretty much always background noise in my house.

To add to her bag of tricks....

She made dinners we disliked. She didn't read bedtime stories (A must in our house) She took pleasure in lecturing us frequently on proper behavior, how she raised her children and what was wrong with society today.... In other words, she sucked the fun out of everything.

After her stay with us, my brother labeled her McKirk the Jerk and it stuck.

My mom fondly remembers that months and years after McKirk. If my brother or I ever misbehaved she'd threaten a weekend with McKirk. You bet your sweet ass we straightened our act out, immediately.

Sadly, or happily, depending on how you look at it, my mom threatened McKirk for the last time when my brother retored with deadpan voice "Mom- she's dead."


(Actually, she was probably alive, but who knows for sure)
But regardless, it was situation where my parents thought they were doing the right, only to discover they made the wrong choice. Yes, we were well cared for, but we weren't happy.

I'm telling you this story to explain my current situation.

I'm not 100% sure that Ryan is in the right place with his current sitter. Don't get me wrong, she is an excellent human being and a first class mother. However, I don't think her keeping Ryan is the best situation for her or for him.

I'm in a though spot because I don't really know what I want to do. I want him to be in a safe, home based environment where we can be around a limited number of children and have his needs met and his horizons expanded. I don't want him to be a burden and right now, that's exactly how I feel.

And it sucks.

I recently opened an account at one of those websites where you find nannies, babysitters and the like. I had three people respond to my add thus far. One is totally out. The second is a teacher turned stay at home mom who has one son and the third is a grandma. I haven't responded yet, so I can't tell you how I feel about them yet. But, I did have to laugh with the Grandma responded. She looks, sounds and appears to be the complete opposite of McKirk. But I couldn't help but think to myself: "Oh my God, what if I hire McKirk the jerk?"

Prayers please for this difficult situation. It is weighing heavily on me and I really have no idea what to do.