The Thing I Never Thought I Could Do

It happened slowly, over the course of several years. It started with a bad, bad break up and my life crashing down around me.

When all the bad things came to a head, I weighed a very, very unhealthy 123 pounds. I'm a petite girl, but not that tiny. You could see my ribs, my hip bones and my face looked sunken in.
Combine a job that left me with little time to sleep or eat and a relationship that was crashing down around me, and you got one very unhealthy J-Berg.

All through my college years I weighed right around 130 pounds. It was a comfortable weight for me. I liked the way my clothes fit, I had muscle and curves and while I was constantly wishing for a trimer waist line, I was happy.

 I started graduate school- I was skin and bones and a depressed mess. I made a point to put some weight back on. By Christmas I was back to 130, I felt and looked healthier. My state of mind had improved and my life was on its way back to normal.

And it continued to get better and since then, it hasn't stopped. It just gets better.

Yes, I get busier, my plate gets fuller but the quality of my life, my relationship with myself, my relationship with my friends, with my husband, with my family, has only gotten better and more fulfilling.

But there's a downside to goodness. By my second semester in graduate school I started putting extra weight on. I was working 50+ hours a week and still going to school full time. My social calender was full between great friends and a wonderful boyfriend.
There was always beer to be drank, pizza to be eaten and ice cream to enjoy.
I got lazy. I made the excuse that I was too busy to work out, so I didn't.

Looking back on those years, I'm positive I could have made time if I wanted to. I just didn't.

When Mr. Berg and I got engaged I made an effort to workout more and watch what I was eating. By our wedidng back I was right around 137 pounds. I was happy with how I looked, but I knew I could do better.

We settled into married life. I made healthy meals, concentrated on healthy lean protien and veggies. But there was still sugar and dessert and not as much exercise as there should have been. I never pushed myself to keep moving. Instead, if I felt tired or lazy I just didn't do it. It never occured to me that if I exercised or ate healthier, it would make me feel better.

When we went on our 1 year anniversary trip, I weighed 142 pounds.
By September, I was 146.

And that's when I cracked. I was convienced I never going to lose weight. I was convenieced I would always be heavy. I had tricked myself into thinking I was doing everything right and still not seeing results.

I knew the only person that could help me, was me. I needed to take control. I needed to hold myself accountable and create structure so that I could succeed.

When I joined WW I knew it would be a long journey. I also knew that it was one that I was doing for myself. I just had to keep going.

And I did.

I've gained, I've lost, I've had great week and terrible weeks. I've survived too much wine, over do it at workouts, a kidney infection, food poisoning, a back injury, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I celebrated victories, beaten myself up over defeat. And through it all I kept at it. One step at a time, one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

And today, all of that paid off.

As of this morning, I have officially lost 10.4 pounds.
I hit the 10 pound mark!
I got a new 5 lb start on my weight chart!
There might have been some happy dancing going on in my office this morning.
I might have did a jig in the bathroom too!!

1.2 pounds to go until I hit goal. I am determined to get there next week. DETERMINED!!

So this morning, I did the thing that I thought I could never do.
I lost the weight.
I'm 10 pounds lighter and I feel AMAZING.

I will celebrate with a work out and a glass of wine.

I can't wait for next Thursday. Bring it on!!