In Set Backs and Fresh Starts

My Friday weigh in was bad. I gained weight and it sucked.

I knew it was coming and I was prepared to see a high number on the scale. I let it sting for about 24 hours and then I put my big girl panties on a dealt with it.

I got busy and a little lazy. I also leaned into a tummy issue a little too much and well, I get what I get.

There's no blame game here, just a bad week.

This week is all about tightening the reins, returning to good habits and water, water, water.

I did it the damage, I can undo the damage!

That Wasn't So Bad, Was It?

Just popping in to document that I, Jessica Berg, did it. I did the hard workout this morning and I didn't die.

Did I want to die? Yes

Did I die? No

Thank you Jesus.

Know what would be nice? If I had some extra upper body strength lying around somewhere? I am really, really terrible at one leg push ups and downward dog push ups and Spiderman push ups..... and push ups in general.

I really should get it put on a T-Shirt. "I DON'T DO PUSH UPS"

Meanwhile, I still push on.

I lift the weights, I eat the good for you good and I drink the water.

I am on the health kick hamster wheel. 

Getting There

This week I crossed over the half way point of my love/hate relationship with Jillian Michael's Body Revolution. Although I am doing this workout program for the second time, there are a lot of things I must have mentally blocked out because I completely forgot about how much I hate week 7. Weeks 5 and 6 were hard and painful and made my arms beg for mercy. But at the same time they were fun and motivating and while I said a few choice works from time to time I never really minded them.

Week 7 began yesterday and just as I began the first interval, all the hate came flooding back. The first interval of week 7 has always been my nemesis. I just don't have that kind of upper body strength and it hurts so bad... in  a good way. There were several times I found myself laying on my floor asking myself why I can't be happy with just being flabby. The answer: because I'm a masochist.

This morning I popped out of bed like a piece of toast and was at it again for another round of 4:30am torture. The second workout of week 7 isn't nearly as terrible. It's still very hard for me, but more manageable.

Later this morning it hit me, I made it through both workouts. I now know what to expect for the next two weeks. It hurts, it sucks, it makes me want to cry, but I know I can do it because I did it before. It won't be as scary when I do them again on Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday etc.

I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere. The number on the scale continues to go down. I continue to track my meals, get in my exercise, write my next number on my wrist, I chug water, I chase my kids, I sleep hard at night. I feel better both mentally and physically.

This is hard but it feels good.


As the numbers tick down both on the scale and for my upcoming vacation, I feel happy. I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere. It's a good, good thing.

Met My Goal- Didn't Die

There's a point in one of my favorite Jillian Michael's videos where we're doing what's called a super set. It's basically a long set of moves that impact one area. It gets tougher and tougher before it's time to do a cardio set and start the process over again. Super sets are hard work but totally worth in. In this particular super set, an arm super set, right at the very end Jillian talk about how hard it is an then she asks "But are you going to die?" And I also answer out loud, No!. You know, because she can hear me.

I don't know why this moment in a work out video always hits me where it counts but it does. It's that extra kick in the pants, that extra "I got you" moment that drives to to push it just a little bit further and not die, because not dying is good. 

This past week it set in motion what I needed. The extra kick in the pants to get the job done. Sure it was hard, I had to really push to make good choice, but when all was said and done. My hard work paid off and it was worth it. I saw 148 on that scale and I was ecstatic.  That put into motion a weekend's worth of great choices and met goals.


So now, 146, is written on my wrist and by golly, I will get it!

Why I Can't Be Left Alone with Pork BBQ and Other Musings

Yesterday we had friends over for lunch after church. Since we had a busy Saturday and I was home with a sick child on Friday, I didn't have a ton of time to prepare a wholesome meal prior to early Sunday morning. Since crock pots require zero babysitting and my love of pork knows no limits, I whipped up some pork barbecue with macaroni and cheese, coleslaw and fresh fruit.

And then I ate it all.....


Okay, not true, but I had to really, really talk myself into portion control and making good choices. I had some last sandwich for lunch yesterday and bid my goodbyes. The kids had some left over for dinner. I froze the rest to give them another time and pitched the coleslaw before I could dive into face first.  It's the pretend southerner in me. I just really love me some barbecue.

BBQ Obsession aside, I am trying my very, very best to focus on healthy choices both with eating and exercise. Standing on the scale Friday and seeing a much lower number was some serious motivation. It carried me through the weekend. Even though I went out on a beer tour with my gals and their guys, I didn't over indulge and enjoyed myself just the same.

Yesterday I started incorporating an old Biggest Loser tactic back into my routine. Years ago, some of the contestants would write their next goal weight on the side on their wrists. I loved that idea as it was a constant reminder of the goal in front of me and sometime just the right kick in the pants to not have that doughnut whole or fill up the water glass on last time.

Right now, 148, is written on the inside of my left wrist, just about my watch band. While there's a piece of me that HATES the number, there's a much large piece of me that's ready to blow that out of the water next week.

Jillian and I are still seeing each other on the daily. This week is tough, 4:30am workouts all week long. I am 100% spent by the time 7:30pm rolls around but there is something really addicting about getting all your sweating done prior to the sun coming up. It's good me time, even if it does come at the crack of dawn. 

Some days it's hard to keep me the motivation, to carve out a piece of time for me, to feel like I'm anything but stuck. But I keep plowing out. There's no other choice, really. 

I'm Just Going to Whine Over Here for a Minute

This is an attitude adjustment in the form of a blog post. 

Why: I just started my "." for the second time in 13 days.  Why is this happening? I'm not really sure. Neither is my doctor for that matter.  However, since it's the first time something like this has ever happened, we are monitoring the situation and proceeding with the plan in place.

I am, just as any women in the situation would be, pretty pissed off. This is obviously not how I intended to spend my week. Extra bloat, fatigue, night sweats and pimples. FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

No to mention the bitchiness, and oh, I am bitchy..... so, so bitchy.

So here I am, trying not to implode on myself or explode on anyone else.  Not to mention, I stood on the scale this morning and wanted to faint. The extra bloat really, really didn't help the situation.

So, today I am doing my best to maintain status quo and reminding myself of all the incredible tools I have in my tool box. I cannot control what my body is doing, obviously, but I can control how I handle it.

I'm not happy with the number on the scale. But here's what I should be happy about:

I worked out 5 days this week, which included early morning wake up calls and a lot, a lot of squats.

Some of the moves I couldn't do well earlier in the week went much, much better later in the week.

I'm finding my strength and endurance has begun to improve since I first got started.

I feel better during the day, my self esteem is higher, I know I'm doing good things for myself even if my physical appearance hasn't changed much.

Next week I need to do a better job to focusing on my eating. I do a great job of meal planning and ensure good food it ready for me. Where I falter- snacking and kid food. I get home from work and picking the kids up and it's a mindless eating game until dinner. I'm sure, if I really tracked it, I will have eaten two dinners by the time I finish up dinner and clean up the kitchen. There in lies the problem.

So, next week, we start working on that situation. 

I'm trying to grant myself some perspective. This is not the end of the world. This is a minor, uncontrollable set back. I can deal with this, I just need to grant myself the grace in which to do so. 

So, About Hawaii

Two weeks ago today, my husband came home from work with matching leis for us. It's on! We are Maui bound in 86 days.


Coincidentally,  I had just been here talking about how I needed to get on the stick with my workout. Hours before he came home, I was in our basement setting out my weights, ensuring the DVD player worked and had set my workout schedule for the following week.

Awesome, right? I was ahead of the game by 2.5 hours. Before you roll your eyes, remember, I'm in Mom World. 2.5 hours is HUGE!


Fast forward to today. I completed the first two weeks of Jillian's Body Revolution. (And I'm up two pounds!)


FAN-TASTIC, right?


I keep trying to remind myself that a healthy lifestyle is more about the number on scale. Change takes time.

While I typically take pride in my millennial status. That whole need for instant gratification is really kicking me in the pants right now. I want change and I want it now!


Trust me, I know life doesn't work that way. But oh how I wish it would.


So for now, I continue to trust the process. There is no point in stressing about it right now.

Good things come to those who work for it.