Road Trippin'

In usual Berg fashion we are road tripping again this weekend. This time we are pointing the Tahoe north towards the beautiful city of Boston. However, instead of sight seeing and enjoying all the yummy food the city has to offer, we will be hanging out with family and Bar Mitzvahing out butts off.  This also translates to: Jessica runs around like a mad woman chasing a toddler while Mr. Berg hangs out with his family. Fun, right?

Currently we are about 20% packed and 100% insane to we think we will get it all done and organized and ready by 6am tomorrow morning- all while getting a great night's sleep, mind you. I just don't see it happening. Wishful thinking, right?

Tonight for myself alone I need to eat, shower, blow out my hair, get a spray tan, pack, gather up toys, find sheets, find blankets, make sure everyone has the right pillows and every other thing under the sun. 

This doesn't account for everything Ryan needs, everything Mr. Berg will want me to double check and then there's the cat.... who the hell is taking care of the cat?


Basically, we are insane.


However, I will say this: Life is returning to a semi normal pace, which is really nice. Ryan is starting to sleep a little bit better. Mr. Berg is starting to feel better. I haven't been sick in 2 weeks, a new record. I've actually managed to workout 3 times this week, with plans for another workout tomorrow.

We met with an ENT today to talk about Ryan and his ever infected ears. We are going to monitor him for a month and then (probably) proceed with tubes (should the fluid in his right ear not clear) or sooner if he develops another infection. All of that to say: We're getting tubes sooner or later.

The good news about all of this is that we really enjoy our doctor and the practice. I feel like we are in the right hands and I think their proceed with caution approach is spot on. Unlike the pediatrician we saw that made us feel like we were barbarians for not putting tubes in Ryan's ears at birth. Your know, because we knew he'd have a million ear infections before age two. 


Duh!

No, I'm still not pregnant and honestly, that's okay with me. Someday, I will be and that will be fantastic. It was never a personal goal of mine to be pregnant again before Ryan turned two. At the rate my body is functioning, I probably won't be. That's fine. I can worry about babies another day. 

Right now, I'm happy with my 2 boys and a diabetic, geriatric cat named Sophie.

Life, Lately

• Sophie-the-Cat is still alive and well. For how long, I don't know. But for now, she's here. We decided that the best course of action is to keep her comfortable and let her live out her life without shots or other medication.
  
• I finally got in an early morning workout this morning. While it sucked, it was good to be back in the saddle again.
  
• Ryan is on what feels like his 100th ear infection. (in reality, probably his 6th or 7th). We will be meeting with an ENT to discuss tubes. Unless I hear something totally scary about this procedure that I don't already know about, my vote is tubes and quickly.
  
• We are leaving on Friday for a quick trip to Boston to visit family and attend a Bar Mitzvah. I'm looking forward to the being there part. The long drive both ways part, not so much.
  
• Our CSA starts Wednesday. I am so freaking excited, it's not even funny. I'm already pinning recipes like a mad woman.
  
• I'm in a weird place right now when it comes to fitness. I want to workout and push myself and start new programs but at the same time we're trying for another baby. So any new program or new ramp up would get put on hold. I'm having a hard wrapping my head around working out for the health and fitness of it and not the leaning out, pounds dropping part. (Yes, I know how ridiculous I'm being).
  
• Ryan is so fun and amazing right now. His language is exploding, so many new words and phrases. He's also interested in sitting on the potty. What he's not interested in his doing anything on the potty. So basically we perch him up on toilet and he sits there and smiles for 45 seconds. It takes longer to undress him, undiaper him, redress him and rediaper him then it does to sit on the potty. Yet hysterical non-the-less.
  
• In other news: Nothing exciting to report. Just life as usual.

The Ugly Three Legged Stool

Back in April our Sophie girl was diagnosed with feline diabetes. At nearly 17 years old, the diagnosis came as shock. Yet, after a life free of health problems until a sudden decline, it wasn't exactly unexpected either.

For a little while she seemed to hold steady with a special diet and not much else. 

Unfortunately, it was only a temporary fix. Our old girl is going down hill again and I know that our next choices aren't ideal: Insulin or mercy.

I feel like a asshole for saying that I don't want to go the insulin route. It's an expensive and intrusive option for a geriatric cat that hates all things medicine and injections. It doesn't seem fair to her to have to go through that in her twilight years.

At the same time, it's not fair to her to not feel well either. Poor girl, she's spends most of her day hiding from the crazy that is life with a toddler. She is most active in the mornings before he wakes and in the evenings when he's in bed. She's nearly blind and while she has trouble always making it to her box, she does everything in her power to not make it worse then it already is. I'm sure this situation is heartbreaking and embarrassing for her.

Yet, I can't bring myself to face the alternative. The one that means she won't be here anymore. Not when she's still capable of being a part of our family. She still greets us every morning and watches us head up to bed every night. She still hops up on the sofa with me every evening for TV time and sneaks onto the bed when she thinks Mr. Berg isn't watching.

When I found myself in this position a year ago, it made sense. Bob was dying, there wasn't anything I could do to save him. Sure, I could try  medicine that would buy him at best a few more weeks and at worst a few more hours but I couldn't buy him quality of life. I knew what I was doing with merciful. I knew my choice was the best gift I could give him.

With Sophie, I don't know. I feel like I'm failing her on every level no matter the decision.

I think deep down, I know which choice is right. I know she doesn't want to feel so crumby. I know she knows that time is running short. There are nights when we're curled up on the sofa, I'll be engrossed in the TV when I suddenly look down and realize she's watching me. Her gaze soft and silent. Almost as if she's taking it all in, trying to remember every detail. 

There is no way to wrap this up in a pretty bow and end the story with a happy ending. There are going to be tears and there are going to be sad times ahead. I just wish I knew when the time is right.

I hate knowing that this is coming. I absolutely hate it.

May- We Are Not Friends

I'm in the process of breaking up with the month of May.

May has been nothing but a serious germ factory for Ryan and I.

First Ryan was sick with an ear infection, then I had strep throat, then Ryan had Hand, Foot and Mouth. Yesterday my doctor mistakenly, albeit humorously, told me was some sort of upper respiratory infestation. While she meant to say infection, infestation seems pretty accurate at this point.

Last night I went to pick Ryan up at daycare and was told that he was clingy most of the day and had a low grade fever. Add that to the nagging cough he's had and I was 99% sure something wasn't right for our poor boy. This morning his doctor confirmed a nasty double ear infection.

{we might need matching bubbles}


Add to that the following circumstances:

1. Mr. Berg has been traveling for work all week. And by traveling- what I really mean is this: He's being wine and dined by an insurance carrier. Sure, he had to attend educational seminars but he's also golfing, have catered dinners, he gets to sleep in and gets all sorts of swag.

Life must be really hard for him right now

2. I'm knee deep in a audit prep for some of benefit packages we offer our employees.... it is not going well

3. Sophie the cat, she's not having a good go right now. Poor thing will be the next Berg at the vet's office I'm sure

4.I ovulated on Wednesday... as in... when Mr. Berg wasn't home.... fantastic

Basically, I'm ready to throw in the towel for this month.

I'm tried, cranky and just plain over it.


Although, I can now breath out my nose, which is a welcome change from earlier this week.

Once Again, Mom of the Year

Sunday morning started off normally enough....

Ryan and I spent the morning together while Mr. Berg went out to study. We played outside. Ryan dumped out my coffee mug and filled it full of mulch. You know, normal toddler stuff.

Throughout the day he kept telling me "boo-boo" and would point to his mouth. Since he's working on molars, I never gave it a second thought and handed him a ice cube to suck on. (He's obsessed with ice or icsh, as he calls it).

After lunch I put him down for his nap and thought he felt a little on the warm side. Again, I didn't pay that fact any mind. He always feels hot to me.

After a longer then usual nap and an afternoon and evening of playing outside, we settled on the sofa to watch letter songs and unwind. That would be about the time Ryan starting grabbing at his feet and rubbing the palms of his hands on the sofa cousins.....

I took off his socks and shoes thinking that grass clipping must be bothering him. Instead, I found the side sof his feet covered in little red bumps. Upon closer inspection I found them on this thumbs and fingers too.

Wouldn't you know.... Hand, Food and Mouth Disease here we come :)

Yay


No one in our house slept on Sunday night. Poor Mr. Berg, he had to take his exam Monday morning. I tried to take on most of the night shift so he could rest. I doubt he did.

Monday our household was a bunch of zombies. Mr. Berg passed him text. I went into work in the afternoon for a few hours and everyone was in bed early.

Monday night was another crazy night but with a little more sleep and not as much crying.

Tuesday Ryan stayed home with his favorite sitter and Mr. Berg and I went to work and then to bed early. Everyone slept though the night.


So, once again, no rest for the wary.

And no workouts.


Here's hoping for a better week next week.

Updates and Such

Never fear.... I'm still alive :)

I've taken a step back from blogging lately for a number of reasons. Mostly, because I've been terribly busy in real life and sort of because I feel like I have nothing of real importance to say. Do y'all really want to hear about how I'm not getting enough sleep, not working out and being a part time single mom while Mr. Berg studies for his next exam? Didn't think so.

If you let me, I could write you 17 paragraphs on why my body doesn't want me to get pregnant right now.

Then I'd follow it up with 5 sentences on why that's actually somewhat convenient.

I could tell you how I woke up on Mother's Day with strep throat....

Sure I got to lay in bed undistributed all day but still.... I had strep throat!


Honestly though, life has been pretty good lately. I don't really have much to complain about. We're coming into the home stretch for Mr. Berg's crazy studying. I just need to survive the weekend and we're golden.

And then come Monday I'm actually going to start working out again.... I was supposed to do that this Monday but...... #strepthroatproblems.


So yes, I am alive.
I did not die.

I am uniquely interested in this whole Beyonce/Jay Z/ Solange incident. However, I'm not on the side that most people are.

Oh and there's 40 pounds of food in my fridge that I was supposed to use on Sunday but couldn't that I now have to figure out what to do with.


Any takers?

Someday.....

Someday.....

• We will get a dog, maybe even two....
  
• There will be a new baby coming home to our house
  
• Our backyard will have a fire pit and Mr. Berg and I will sit around it after our children are tucked warm and snug in their beds
  
• Our things will be packed in boxes and moved into a new, bigger home
  
• My car won't be coated with cracker crumbs and the windows won't be coated in milk spray
  
• I will meet my Grandma in heaven
  
• Vacation days will be used for actual vacations- all the time, every time
  
• Retirement will mean a house on the lake and a view of the Blue Ridge Mountains
  
• There will be room in the fridge for more then one bottle of chilled wine at a time
  
• I'll actually do a better job of "working on my abs" instead of just thinking about it
  
• My office won't look like something exploded in it ALL THE TIME
  
•  These frustrating toddler days will be long gone, then the preschool days, the grade school days, the preteen days and then teenage days.... (sigh)
  
• We will visit all the places on our bucket list
  
•  I'll finally get to see what the West Coast is all about
  
• I will have the perfect homemade brownie recipe
  
• My skin will realize we are in our 30's and will stop creating zits
  
• One of the high school kids I ask to call me for resume or job interview help will actually call me (And I will fall out of my chair... dead)
  
• My kitchen will have two ovens and granite counter tops.... and maybe a wine rack..... and a six burner range... if it's not too much to ask
  
• Mr. Berg will stop stealing my pillows, blanket, comforter, sheet or space in the bed

• I will stop looking forward to someday and learn to live in today, time goes by far too quickly for such nonsense.