There is a part of me that is completely amazed that I'm sitting at my desk at work and it is 50 degrees outside. The last time I spent a serious amount of time here, it was 90 degrees, I was 4 days overdue and annoyed at the endless parade of people in my office.
Now, I doubt anyone realizes that I'm back. I think they got used to life without me and frankly, I kind of like it.
This week is my last week of maternity partial leave. How on earth did this happen? I'm in the office two days this week. Starting next week, I'll be in the office four days a week and working from home on Fridays. I'm really thankful to have such an awesome schedule. It will make for much smoother days and weeks in the long run, I hope. Unfortuately, right now, I'm having a hard time finding my groove. I can't wrap my head around how I'm going to keep the house clean, organized and running. I'm worried about how I'll get dinner on the table and when and if I'll ever find a consistent workout schedule ever again.
I worry about how I'll spend quality time with Ryan in the evenings when I'm trying to wash bottles, preheat the oven and finding a moment to shower. How on earth will we ever do tummy time? Will my at home manicure forever look like shit?
Truely, there is a huge part of me that is shaking my head at myself. I've made it work in the past, why wouldn't I make it work in the future?
I know it will take time for my to find a groove. I know I won't get in the quality workouts I had in the past for a long, long time. I know that we will eat dinner, it just might not be the same kind of dinners we had in the past. My nails probably will continue to look kinda crappy. It's just the way it goes.
I need to stop stressing. But we all know that's eaiser said then done.
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