Sweet Hesus

Here we go again...

I got into work this morning under the impression that I was going to have a very normal day. I had plans to get caught up on my To-Do list and make things happen.

Instead.... I got into work early, spent an hour getting caught up on the loose ends on my desk, neatly wrote out my To-Do list, checked my voicemail, drank some coffee, read a few blog posts and was about to get starting on the real work of the day when I got a phone call......

Mrs.Berg this is Officer Soandso from Fantasy Land County. I'm trying to get a hold of one of our employees in regards to an incident last night....

Great, just great.

And then my day went to hell.


Yay for me!



So, tomorrow, I will talk about my April Resolution.... since April is half way done already. (How did that happen?) And other regularly scheduled programing.


Sigh.... I swear, I should have gotten my degree in Adult Supervision instead of Human Resources Management.

Ugly People Will Not Win

It seems like only yesterday I was sitting down to talk about how just another day turned into a tragic chain of events. The ghost of that day still hangs heavy on all of us as again to are forced to face another tragic event, another round of losses and another day of wondering why?

I'm trying my hardest to focus on the good. There is so much sadness floating around right now. From the heartache impacting our friends and family to the tragic events in our fair city of Boston. It seems so hard to be positive. Yet, let us remember, positivity is the key to all of this. It ensures that we have rose above the madness, the sadness and the scary. It shows we are stronger then those who try to bring us down.

I refuse to give in. I refuse to stay sad, or live in fear, or constantly worry. Life is too short, the world it too beautiful of a place, and ugly people will not win. Nope, it's just not going to happen.

First World Problems OR How Shallow and Selfish Am I Today?

These are the issue "plaguing" me this week. Oh the woes of First World Problems.

(don't read this if you lack a sense of humor, 99% of this is written in jest)


The Cleaning Lady Situation:
The phone call on Friday went something like this:

Cleaning Lady: JBerg, I'm terribly sorry but I won't be able to clean your house next Thursday. I have to have surgery.
JBerg: Oh no, Mary, I'm so sorry to hear that.
CL: My doctor said I'll need to stay off my feet for two weeks and the following two weeks I should really take is easy.
JB: Well, Mary, just don't worry about it. We can live without you for a month. (in reality- no, we cannot... okay, we can but seriously, SHITSHITSHIT). We'll see you in May.
CL: Are you sure? I know how busy you are.
JB: Really, we'll be fine. You worry about yourself. (shitshitshit!)

I have to clean my OWN HOUSE? Crap!

In reality, we will be fine. I do know how to clean and I do clean, 3 weeks out of the month. I was just really looking forward to an off week.


The Damn Mr. Berg is Having a Birthday Situation

(this is redic... I am fully aware)

Tomorrow is Mr. Berg's 33rd birthday.

This means on top of all the other stuff I have to do on a random Tuesday, I also have to put out and I don't mean the regular weekday, quick kind.

The Weeper Situation
I once had an boyfriend who cried every frigging time something didn't go his way.
Seriously, I probably broke up and got back together with him 3 times because he wouldn't stop crying and I felt bad.
Weeping aside, he was a really nice guy and we really did just make better friends.
However, he ended up marrying a girl that HATED me. Like HATED me so much that if looks could kill, you'd all be at my funeral right now.
Anyway... it really wasn't a big deal.
After we broke up for the final time, oh man the tissues that guy went though..... I digress.....
After we broke up, we didn't really talk much. An email here and there. Nothing big.
So, it wasn't a huge deal that he married the girl that hated me. I'm sure they made a great couple....
except......
I just found out they are getting divorced....


I feel so badly for him.

So badly, I almost..... ALMOST.... friended him on facebook.
And then I clicked on his picture and I was like NEVERMIND.
That dude cries.... A LOT.
The I'm Off the Band Wagon Situation

I spent the past two weeks eating everything and I do mean everything. EVERYTHING.
Like, last Tuesday.... I ate a pimento cheese sandwich for breakfast, and then I had another one for lunch and then I had another one for a snack. Do you know how much pimento cheese that is?
I DO.
It is all sitting squarely on my belly.
GROSS!!

If I don't hope back on that band wagon soon, I am going to be in serious trouble.
As are my pants!

Well, we made it. Vacation day has arrived.

Granted, I still have to work a full day, pick up cupcakes for the babysitter, finish packing for Ryan, finished packing for Mr. Berg, double check what I packed, drop Ryan off at my parents, drive to the airport (in rush hour traffic), and then do the whole airport thing.

So technically, my vacation doesn't really start until Midnight. But whatever :)

Right now I am so mentally and physically drained that I'm having trouble functioning. Three seperate times in the past 24 hours I have felt like I could just drop to the floor. Normally, this would take a call to the doctor, however, my very recent blood work showed I'm a perfectly healthy adult female. So, I think it's mental. And I get it.

I have high hopes for this trip. I need a break. I need rest. Mr. Berg and I need time to reconnect.


Have a wonderful week, internet land.

Tomorrow....

This past summer, I found out I won tickets to the Master's Practice Rounds. Of course, we were excited. I even remember telling my mom "Mr. Berg and I could probably use a break by then."

Little did we know.....

The past 8 weeks or so have been trying and difficult and sad. We have close family going through a miserable divorce, close friends going through tough times in their marriage, our jobs are stable but stressful and then Bob died.

Last night as I rocked Ryan to sleep, tears rolled down my face. I wondered how much more God was going to throw at me. Hadn't we just gotten over some hard times? God had restored my health, returned our life to a manageable pace and now, here we are again. Navigating a a rocky sea.


Times like these make me want to grab onto my family a little tighter and count my blessing a little more carefully.

This break is much needed. I cannot wait to board our plane tomorrow evening and travel south. We need sunshine, warm breezes and the love of our friends. I miss the South, I miss it so much.


Today I'm focusing on the finish line. Listening to a lot of Zac Brown Band and getting a much, much needed pedicure.

(I'm also trying not to think about how much I'm going to miss Little Man. Who, by the way, will be just fine at his Grammy's house.)

Tonight I'll try my best not to be sad when I automatically pause when I open up a cupboard or a closet in case Bob is right behind me. I won't stop halfway when walking down the steps to let Bob pass me and I'll try not to fill up his bowl with food he won't be home to eat.

I'll thank God for our many blessings. I'll remind him to look out for Bob. I'll ask him to fill my heart again, because right now, it just seems so very, very empty

When Your Cat Dies

When your cat dies: You try not to cry in front of him because you know the moment is really about him (and not so much about you). But when you look into those big orange eyes you want to cry even harder because you know you'll never see them again.
When your cat dies: You try not to cry in front of the office staff, but then they start crying. So everyone cries.

When your cat dies: You still have to go to the bank and the grocery store and to work. The babysitter still needs paid, you have to still put dinner on the table. Even though life feels likes it should stop for a moment, it won't.

When your cat dies: You carry his collar in your purse because you don't really know where else to put it. You don't need it in your purse, but you can't stand the idea of not having it there. (You might smell it too because it smells like him.... and you know that's strange)

When your cat dies: You wear your sunglasses in your office because you don't want people to see you cry or ask you what is wrong. Even though something is seriously wrong, hell you're wearing your sunglasses INSIDE.

When your cat dies: You think of really dumb shit like if you could remove the towels from your furniture because he won't be there to shed anymore. You wonder what to do with his left over cat food and his pet bowl. You get sad because you know you won't need them anymore but you can't stand the thought of putting them away.

When your cat dies: You don't want to go home, because then it will be real. And it just can't be real, it just can't be.

When your cat dies: You cry every time you don't have something else to worry with. So, every time you use the bathroom, every time you wash dishes, fold laundry, walk down the hall, open the fridge... you cry.

When your cat dies: You cry every time you see your other cat. You feel terrible that she's suddenly alone and without her brother. Then you think of what would happen if you didn't have your brother anymore, and you cry all over again.

When your cat dies: You are suddenly very dramatic about everything. (see above)

When your cat dies: You lay down in bed the first night without him and you cry your deepest, saddest cry. You admit that even though you knew all the facts, knew the odds were against you, you still didn't want it to be true.

When your cat dies: You think about every time he was sick before and how you begged him not to die. And you feel so stupid for believing he never would.

When your cat dies: You feel his loss in everything you do. You cry and you feel sad. Yet you take comfort in the fact that he isn't hurting anymore. You smile because he made your life so much better and you did the most humane and wonderful thing for him. Even if it makes you cry.

Farewell Dear Friend

He was overweight despite that fact he probably threw up 5 times a week. He had the worst smelling breath you ever came in contact with, which isn't surprising when you read the first sentence. He had no regard for personal space. Nearly killed us all by winding around our feet as we walked down the steps.  He never cared much for rules, the car, loud noises, the door bell or pills. He was a walking ball of furr and purrs.

He was also my very best pal and constant companion for 15 years.

Bob passed away this morning. Over the weekend he started getting sick and x-rays and blood work from last night and this morning showed not only congestive heart failure but cancer too. Thanks to some medicine he was happy and comfortable for now, but it wouldn't have lastest long.

We could have tried medicine. It might have bought us a few weeks. But honestly, does a few more weeks matter when you've already borrowed five extra years?

I knew last night our time was limited and this morning I knew it was time to say goodbye.

He went peacefully, purring and licking everyone until the very last moment.
I'm not sure who cried more, the veterniary office staff or me. We all loved him, we all knew him. If one thing was true, it was that he never met a stranger. He always met a friend.

Bob has a halo now.
I'll miss him every day.