Grace and the Working Mom

I returned to work three weeks ago.

I anticipated it being a really hard day for me, however, it ended up being a pretty good one. I credit the fact that I was still on a high from my brother's wedding the previous Friday, an awesome daycare that ensure I don't have to worry (too much) about my children while they're there, and having started transitioning back to work  a two days a week for a couple of hours started at 8 weeks. Being thrown into a 5 hour budget meeting within 15 minutes of walking in the door also helps, no easy transitioning for this girl.

All in all, the whole "going back to work" thing hasn't been terrible. The first week Jacob slept like a champ, which allowed me the opportunity to work out every morning before heading into work. The second week we decided to transition from the rock and play to the crib. So, no one got any sleep and my workoutd fell by the way side. I got my workout in yesterday morning but didn't today as Jacob decided he'd like to be awake just for shits and giggles.... thanks kid!

I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. I have a four month old and I'm not the ever consistent Skinny Meg, there will be missed workouts. There will be times when I sneak my kid's jelly beans and eating cold left over macaroni and cheese for the fridge will happen.

Last week Mr. Berg and I both had a few late nights for work related things. I had to work on my birthday. Because Ryan is so into birthdays and loves the idea of birthday parties we didn't tell him about my birthday until Saturday. I didn't realize how bummed I'd be about it. But, I really was. It wasn't the fact that I didn't get a cake or that my birthday once again fell on a inconvenient day., it was the fact that I didn't get to share it with my sons. While my husband was at home wrangling children, I was sitting on the floor of the registration area, while apprenticeship orientation took place, putting together snack bags for Ryan's daycare class. He was to be the special student the following day and there was no way he was going to school without the best prepackaged snacks this mom could offer.

My mom always made homemade treats. There are kids in his class that send in homemade treats every time. I had every intention to make banana muffins....  Ryan brought Frozen themed bags of pretzels and apple sauce pouches (the organic kind no less).

I am learning that being a mom requires the giving of a lot of grace. It means overlooking the fact that you came home to a huge mess the night your husband had the kids on his own. Afterall, the kids are happy, well fed and in bed. It means laughing at yourself when you realized you brought your infants bottles to school without the nipples or saying yes to that extra bag of fruit snacks so you can have five minutes to get dinner out of the crock pot and onto plates.

I am not perfect. I've fallen down on the job at work and at home more times then I'd care to count in the last three weeks. But I keep going.

I keep going because I love my family, I love my job and I believe that wearing both hats it part of my make up. My life before children is a blur.  Mr. Berg and I often wonder what life was like before we had our boys. My life with children is equal parts hard and fulfilling and a whole lot of wonderful.
I love my family, I love my job and I truly believe I can have both.

Will it be perfect? No
Will there be days I'm ready to throw in the towel? Absolutely
Should I start apologizing to my liver about the excessive wine consumption? Probably

Here's to grace
Here's to doing what you do
Here's to owning it
Only you can be you.