"The Cleanse" Day Two

Breaking up with Diet Pepsi is terrible, just in case you were wondering


Anyway....

Welcome to J-Berg's 2nd day on the Advocare 10 Day Cleanse. How is it going so far?

Well, let me tell you. So far, it hasn't been bad. I've been following the "rules" to the letter. I have been carefully packing my lunch bag every day with lots of good for you stuff. For breakfast I have a modified version of my typical smoothie- Spinach, 1/2 Cup Frozen Fruit, Small Banana and Almond Milk.
Lunch is a homemade turkey burger that has onion and zucchini mixed in. I top it with black bean and corn pico and a single serving packet of guacamole.  Dinner last night with chicken in tomato sauce with veggies on top of spaghetti squash.
My snacks are either 1/2 cup Honey Dew Melon with Almonds or an Apple with Peanut Butter.

Either way, super yummy!


And of course, I drink tons and tons of water.

My only real complaint is that I have a raging, splitting, oh.my.god.kill.me.now headache.
I'm pretty sure it's a combination of hormones and the sudden lack of caffeine in my diet. I seriously miss Diet Pepsi. Our break up has been awful.

Today I have felt foggy and irritable. However, I can't tell you if that's because of the cleanse or because no one in my house feels good and no one is sleeping very well. Maybe that's a good thing? I can't pin point the culprit so I can't get mad at anyone.

I have noticed that I am always thirsty. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with anything or not. But seriously, I have had no issues getting in my gallon + of water everyday.

Oh and I still hate that nasty fiber drink. HATE.IT!

However, it is a small price to pay for an interesting challenge.


Here's hoping for even more success!

Never Have I Ever Done Anything Half Assed

I started the Advocare 10 Day Cleanse this morning. I chugged the fiber drink, had my breakfast smoothie with almond milk instead of regular milk and without yogurt. I have drank a ton of water.

(I really miss coffee)

And because I'm never one to start half assed, I'm doing this cleanse with the following conditions.

• I am still fitting jet-lag from Germany
• Ryan slept a total of 3 hours last night, I slept a total of 2 hours.
• I'll be starting my "." any time now
• I have a gigantic head cold- resulting in the need for millions of tissues

I figure if I can be successful under these conditions, I can be successful anytime. I'm certainly up for the challenge.

This morning I came into work armed with snacks, lunch, water bottles, spark packets and no caffeine. (Sorry Diet Pepsi, we're on a break.) A lot of my time has been spent worrying that I'm not getting the food portions right or eating the right things at the right time.

I will say, I'm not hungry at all. That fiber drink will fill you up. (And it's only as gross as you let it be. I chugged it and lived to tell the tale.)

In about a half hour I'll have an apply and some peanut butter. Things to look forward too!


Happy Monday!

Friday

I packed.
Mr. Berg packed.
I packed for Ryan.

We are a go.


See y'all next week.

I Packed.... Kinda

Right now, in my bedroom, next to my dresser, is a pile of clothing. It's a mix of casual and dress clothes. There are several pairs of shoes, pajamas, socks, underwear, bras, etc. I would consider myself packed. However, I still need to locate my suitcase, put said crap into the suitcase and figure out accessories. There is also the matter of makeup and hair care products. Yeah... so I'm not even close to being ready.

Ryan's stuff, however, is all packed and ready to go. At least someone is ready for their vacation.


Oh and I'm all caught up on Grey's so that counts for something right? And PS- Dr. Webber is so NOT dead. And Arizona is 100% selfish. Oh, and Christina? I gotta say, I love her character more and more and more every day. Her love for Owen is incredible and the fact that she knew she had to left him go be the person he wanted to be, amazing!

I digress....

We are so not ready for this trip TOMORROW.
Last night as we were getting ready for bed, I asked Mr. Berg if he was ready for our trip. Of course, he is super excited. I told him I didn't feel like it was real yet. He even laughed when I told him that I was willing to bet that the next morning I would wake up and say something like "Shit, we leave for Germany tomorrow."

And what happened when the alarm went off this morning. Exactly that.

"OH SHIT! We leave tomorrow."



There is a large part of me that wants to just pack a carry on and get the rest when we get there. So yeah. I really hope we are ready to go by tomorrow.


Happy Thursday Folks!

Barely Out of Tuesday....

Does anyone else remember that Counting Crows song? I totally forgot about it until I popped in an old college mix CD on my way to work this morning. It was a good way to start the day.

Anyway...

My apologies for a terrible post yesterday. It was miserable day and I felt like total shit-on-a-stick for a large majority of the day. Truth be told, it's embarrassing. Who passes out during blood work? And it wasn't even serious blood work. It was a vial and a half.... That's like nothing. During my pregnancy I gave out 7 of those suckers at a time.  Oh well...

Today is a new day.

And now, time for some Secret Confessions of the Berg Family:

1. We haven't watched Grey's since The Avery Foundation helped everyone buy the hospital. We just let the DVR fill up. So, it's been a Grey's Marathon every night this week. We have one more episode before the season finale. Hopefully we can finish up before we leave on Friday.
2. Ryan has a million and one cool toys. His favorites? An empty toilet paper roll and an empty contacts box.
3. I typically wear a single strand of pearls every day. I love them and care for them well.... Well, I did at one time. Today, I noticed half the strand is covered in a fine layer of sweet potatoes. Compliments of someone's grubby, after dinner hands and a fascination with all necklaces.
4. Prior to the big clean out this morning, there were 15 receipts in my tote bag this morning.
5. We still haven't packed. When I asked Mr. Berg to find the suitcases last night, he asked me why. Clearly, we are not in vacation mode.
6. I'm starting the Advocare Cleanse on June 17th- The same day my "." is due. I will also be jet lagged and returning to work from a week's vacation. Clearly, I do nothing half assed...
7. I've been wearing closed toed shoes all week because I'm over due for pedicure. They've gotten so bad even Mr. Berg has started asking when I'm getting my toes done.
8. The answer is tomorrow, along with my nails and my roots.

So Far, Today is Not Going Well

Want to know something terrible? I am so looking forward to our flight to Germany on Friday night because it means I can sit down, watch TV, sleep, eat crap and not have to get anyone a damn thing for 8 solid, glorious hours.... I know, right? Amazing.

Little man was up and hungry at 4:00am.
He didn't go back to bed until 4:35am.
I never went back to bed.
Obvi, we were running late this morning but that was okay because Mr. Berg and I had physicals this morning for our new life insurance.
Which would have been fine except....
The nurse showed up 30 minutes late without a hint of an apology.
I passed out during my blood work.
Mr. Berg didn't realize I was going down until it was almost too late.
Once I was up and half functioning again, Mr. Berg assumed it was safe to go to work and left.
AUGH.... MEN!

So now I'm at work, still hungry from the crappy breakfast I picked up at Sheetz and half sick to my stomach from the blood work. AND.... My arm hurts. A LOT.

{WHINE}

Good news? My blood pressure was finally it's super low, normal self.
About.damn.time.body.



And we leave for vacation in 4 days and I still haven't packed. Not a lick.

Is Tuesday over yet?

How I Survived Pit Master School and Didn't Look Like Paris Hilton in the late 90's

First and foremost..... My new tanner is awesome and I didn't look orange in the slightest. In fact, I looked pretty good. So good in fact, I put more on the next night and I still don't look orange. I'll take it.

So... Pit Master School....

We arrived 15 minutes early to class Saturday morning. I'm sure I looked like a cross between a trophy wife and a pack mule. Never wanting to be unprepared, I filled my new tote bag with two notes pads and pens for note taking, two bottles of water, my favorite insulated cup filled with ice water, a hat, sun screen, cell phone, sweater (because you never know), snacks, gum, a diet pepsi and Advil. That poor bag was bustin' at the seams.

As we walked up to the area where class was I noticed lots and lots of people were all ready gathered around the picnic tables. The smoker was already going and the instructor and her staff were milling around setting up food and drinks and the whole nine yards. As we found our table my husband started shaking the hand of a huge man at the table to our right. It turns out he knew him and his buddy- both worked for his car service center. We made small talk and took our seats.

And there is was.... the big buddy's butt crack.

And it wasn't just any butt crack, this thing was a foot long and directly in my eye line.

As I'm sitting there, trying to determine what to do with my self, I notice Mr. Berg dying from silent laughter. He later said he noticed the look on my face and was trying to figure out what I was looking at.

I made him switch seats with me immediately.
When it comes to sweaty butt cracks of people I don't know, I don't mess around.

The rest of class was highly entertaining and delicious. It wasn't held entirely outside, which was even better. We also ended about 2 hours earlier then anticipated.

All in all, I shouldn't have whined about it. It was fun.

And now....
I leave for Germany in 4 days.

Am I ready?

HA! I haven't even thought about pulling my suitcase out of the attic yet... or is it in the basement?

I threw some things for Ryan in a bag.
My thank you gift for my parents is half prepared.
I might have looked at the tour schedule... but I don't remember half of it.
I have a checked the weather... that counts for something right?


Time to get on the stick.....